I thought when you get married, everything else in your life settles down. I was so wrong. Oh well...

This married life adjustment phase is certainly squeezing every last drop of my patience. I think this is WAAAAYYYY more difficult than migrating to another country you've never been to and without any friends and family. I mean the adjustment depression that my migrant friends talked about before, I never experienced in my migration to the US but I am currently experiencing in this adjustment to married life. Hayyyy... Yeah, that's all I can say. I am not discouraging you from getting married. It's just the I-dont-want-to-get-tied-down me who's talking here.

As what my husband always tells me, each struggle and failure that tries to pull us down are the things that make us stronger. Every time he says that to me, I am reminded that I should be thankful to find a life-partner like him. I love being married because I have that someone to share my highs and lows with, who will not judge me when I am angry, depressed and frustrated, who will do everything to make me feel loved and cared for.

As January started, God has done a lot of amazing things for me and my family. Things that I did not plan and never in my wildest dreams would have imagined. I guess this year God wants me to let go of my plans... To put him on the steering wheel of my life... To direct me and trust his ways. I am welcoming February with open arms... as Mrs. Carlos. =)

Labels: married-life

One more day to forever... to never eating dinner alone again! Yehey!!!

I think I'm more scared than excited.

Labels: lovelife

It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see him in his most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. He breathes as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but his own. You smile, kiss his face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake him. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and in this moment, you know it doesn't get any better than this...

---Taken from a friend's status post in FB. =) Now I can relate.

Labels: lovelife, nothingness

I guess I'm supposed to write down my New Year's resolution this 2010 but then my mind is just too preoccuppied with more important life events that are more blog-worthy. I am getting married on the 16th. Yes, January 16th 2010, exactly 10 days from now. Were you hoping it was 2011? LOL. Just a few more days and my single life is about to end. *UGH!* Wedding jitters is setting in. I think I'm turning into a bridezilla!!! Last night, fiance and I had a fight about wedding preparations. He complains that I don't talk when I am upset. I thought men do not like naggers? I thought men do not like being shouted at? Oh well, my fiance probably does not belong to "most men". Maybe you'll ask what we argued about... it was a sudden change of reservations previously made by the mother-in-law which I guess deserves a separate blog to rant about.

Anyway, we're just going to do the civil wedding in Las Vegas since his family lives there. It'll just be a small ceremony at the county office *because I refuse to walk down the aisle if it's not a Catholic church* and a dinner at Ceres *fine dining resto at JW Marriott in Summerlin*. Nothing really fancy because we're still doing the church wedding in Manila in Feb 2011 *tentative* which is the REAL wedding I want to recognize. This civil wedding will be a very small one with like 20 people who are very close to us *which does not include any of my immediate family members*. We just have to do the civil thing just to get my papers started.

Now I understand what the Bridezilla tv show is about. I thought they were just insane women to start with but I realized that the pressure and stress of making a dream wedding come true is sometimes too much to bear for someone. So yeah... I am getting married. Wish me luck that I keep my sanity intact until after the big day. This is it!!!

Labels: lovelife

I have learned that I am not the one who decides what I can and cannot have in my life. It took me 29 years to realize this. No matter how "on-top-of-your-game" you believe you are, God always has the last say on what He will give you. I guess the overly OC in planning Lisa in me has finally *and painfully* realized that I can only plan ahead so much... that I can only desire things so much... but then again the ONE up there is the one who decides if you truly deserve such things that you desire. You are lucky if your plans are aligned to the plans that He wants for you. But then if He thinks that you deserve something else, you have to learn to accept... to yield... to accept defeat and surrender to His will.

I never planned to get engaged by the age of 29. I never even imagined myself getting married for that matter. I never planned to be a prayer warrior after years of drifting away from my Catholic faith. God has his ways of turning you into the person that you probably can't imagine you'll be.

When I have learned to surrender everything to Him, that's the same time I learned to appreciate the things I have. I have learned to be patient... to wait... to trust in Him and his perfect plan for me will be granted in His most perfect time.

I think I will be erasing the whole "I-should-have-this" and "I-should-have-done-that" list I've made years ago. Not that I gave up on accomplishing my list. I will still continue to desire them and continue to pray for them. It's just that life is more beautiful and more exciting and happier if things happen and blessing are granted when you least expect them.

God is good. I am truly blessed and I know we all are. Merry Christmas everybody!

Labels: nothingness

Been too happy and preoccupied the past weeks and was not able to blog... and he's always around me when I am home so technically blogging isn't possible. Not to mention I don't want him to find out about this blog. LOL. Anyways, we are engaged. He formally proposed couple of weeks ago... December 7. Yes, we are getting married!

Do not ask about how the proposal went because it was so lame. Hahaha. Not romantic at all! Seriously! But at least he got me a ring which was too big for me. Hahaha. And in my opinion, too much bling which is so not me so I asked him if I can choose my own ring. I opted for this one...



Simple and pretty! =) Yes, I am contented with my ring.

Now I just need to get used to putting it on every morning. *wink*

Labels: lovelife

I am slowly trying to embrace the getting married kind of life. The day we left Las Vegas was the same day GG and I spoke with his parents about our plans of getting married. It's just funny when the soon to be mom-in-law and I were left alone in the garage. We didn't spoke to each other. It was an awkward and very uncomfortable 5 mins of silence between us. I guess she was still in shock that his son has decided to get married. Hahaha. I swear, it was the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of my life ever!

When we got back to Phoenix, we spoke with my chapter heads about our plans. Well, he actually was the one who spoke to them and they suggested that he move in to my chapter head's house while we're still not married because living-in is not allowed by the community.

Last weekend we spoke to my parents and told them about our plans. It's just funny that my pops didn't even ask too many questions. He was more concerned about when we can give him an apo. LMAO! I love my pops!

He hasn't really formally proposed yet but he wanted to get the blessing of everybody. Weird right?!? So while waiting for my ring and a proper romantic engagement, I'll just do my best to be patient... be patient with having a future-husband around the house, running after the mess he makes, cooking for two, and enjoy being single for a couple more months. Oh yeah, we're planning to do it before Feb. =)

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Labels: lovelife