I know i have caused you so much pain when we broke up. I also know that you love me so much and i am so thankful for that. I dont know how to thank you enough for all the love, care and understanding you have given me... which incidentally, i have taken for granted all these years.
I am sorry for everything ive done to hurt you. i know i have said many things that have caused you pain and im really, really sorry for that. my heart is weak when it comes to Him. i dont know why i always end up giving him a chance when i myself is not sure if what i feel for him is mutual. anyway, i dont want to talk about him anymore. i am trying my best to get over him. this time im really religiously serious about it.
i know i am not a perfect girlfriend. as a matter of fact, i have so many flaws and shortcomings as a girlfriend. i just hope that at least once in those three years we have spent together, you have felt that i did love you with all i can. i just wish you would stop doubting me about it. i know my best was not enough because you have loved me more and i was never really able to completely reciprocate that same amount of love you have given me.
now, i am not in the right position to put a verdict on our relationship. i have been thinking a lot and i realized, i cannot decide the destiny of our relationship because i was the one who ruined it in the first place. i want you to be the one to decide. and i want you to think about it as much as you can before making a decision. i have so many questions for you and your answers will pretty much determine the destiny of our relationship.
...will you still love me even if you know i am not yet over him?
...will you still accept me even if you know i can only love you as much as i can but doesnt guarantee it will be the same amount of love you can give?
...will you still love me even if i cannot give you a child?
we were together for three years and the least thing i would want to do is to hurt you again. i am so scared to hurt you again HH because i know you will never deserve to get hurt. i dont even know if i deserve somebody as good as you.
whatever happens, i will always be here for you HH. even if im not a girlfriend anymore, i will still remain to be your friend. i am just hoping that destiny will be kind to both of us.
BG
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE
The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.
Monday, August 30, 2004
The One That Got Away
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will
come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will
come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Some more things about me
1. FAVORITE BREAKFAST IS...
- taho! god i miss manila!
2. THE MOVIE I'VE WATCHED MOST NUMBER OF TIMES IS...
- coyote ugly... i think it was one summer when i saw that movie almost everyday!
3. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL...
- magboo subjects... well i could have liked his subjects but not the teacher!
4. SPEND MY LEISURE TIME
- surfing the net, sleeping
5. WORST SMELL?
- bad body odor
6. IF I COULD HAVE ANY CAR IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?....
- a bentley will be great
7. FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?
- cooking
8. WHEN I WAS A KID I DREAMED OF BECOMING A...
- a teacher or a lawyer
9. FAVORITE COLOR/s?
- black, white, purple
10.FAVORITE PERFORMER(S)?
- hmmmm....
11. WHEN I DIE, I'D RATHER BE CREMATED OR BURIED?
- cremated
12. IF I COULD REPEAT COLLEGE, I'D TAKE
- architecture
13. THREE THINGS I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?....
- wallet, cellphone, kikaykit
14. FIRST THING I BOUGHT WITH MY FIRST SALARY...
- shoes
15. I'D LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED AS....
- a great daughter, friend and lover
16. IF A BOOK WAS MADE INTO A MOVIE, WOULD YOU STILL BOTHER TO READ THE BOOK?
- ill think about it... only if the book is that good.
17. SPECIALTY IN COOKING?
- nothing so special... but i can cook food... at least edible but not so restaurant quality..hehe
18. PRESENT CRUSH?
- someone
19. FAVORITE HANG-OUT?
- mall, coffeeshops
20. BEST PLACE TO SHOP?
- anywhere there is sale... i love helsinki center shops esp when esprit is on sale
21. DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH PLAYS?
- not really but it depends on the story
22. FAVORITE PLACE IN YOUR HOUSE?
- bedroom
23. BEST GIFT YOU'VE GIVEN?
- kiss... hahaha
24. WEIRDEST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
- stuffed toy from an officemate
25. GIFT THAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE AS OF THIS MOMENT?
- an engagement ring
26. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST QUALITY OF THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
- nobody sent this to me... i just got it from friendster
27. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO REPLY?
- nobody
28. ANONG ORAS NA?:
- 2:58pm
29. ANO SA KEYBOARD ANG PARATI MONG NAPIPINDOT
- caps lock
30. YAHOO OR HOTMAIL:
- yahoo
31. LEFT OR RIGHT:
- right
32. BLACK OR WHITE:
- black
33. BLACK OR BLUE PEN:
- black
34. SANDALS OR SHOES:
- shoes
35. COLGATE OR HAPPEE:
- colgate
36.chopsticks or spoon and fork?
- chopsticks
38. ROBOCOP OR RAMBO:
- robocop
39. JOLLIBEE OR MCDO:
- jollibee
40. COKE OR PEPSI:
- coke
41. SAN MIG LIGHT, LONE STAR LIGHT OR REDHORSE:
- san mig light
42. HOPE OR CAMEL (na yosi):
- marlboro =D
43. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO:
- pheng and kirt
44. LAST PERSON WHO TEXTED YOU:
- HH
45. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH:
- pheng and kirt
46. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY?
- someone
47. THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED:
- few weeks ago
48. SOMEONE TO BE WITH:
- family
49. YOU SEE ME ALWAYS EATING..
- nothing
50. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE:
- im not so chocolate fan
- taho! god i miss manila!
2. THE MOVIE I'VE WATCHED MOST NUMBER OF TIMES IS...
- coyote ugly... i think it was one summer when i saw that movie almost everyday!
3. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL...
- magboo subjects... well i could have liked his subjects but not the teacher!
4. SPEND MY LEISURE TIME
- surfing the net, sleeping
5. WORST SMELL?
- bad body odor
6. IF I COULD HAVE ANY CAR IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?....
- a bentley will be great
7. FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?
- cooking
8. WHEN I WAS A KID I DREAMED OF BECOMING A...
- a teacher or a lawyer
9. FAVORITE COLOR/s?
- black, white, purple
10.FAVORITE PERFORMER(S)?
- hmmmm....
11. WHEN I DIE, I'D RATHER BE CREMATED OR BURIED?
- cremated
12. IF I COULD REPEAT COLLEGE, I'D TAKE
- architecture
13. THREE THINGS I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?....
- wallet, cellphone, kikaykit
14. FIRST THING I BOUGHT WITH MY FIRST SALARY...
- shoes
15. I'D LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED AS....
- a great daughter, friend and lover
16. IF A BOOK WAS MADE INTO A MOVIE, WOULD YOU STILL BOTHER TO READ THE BOOK?
- ill think about it... only if the book is that good.
17. SPECIALTY IN COOKING?
- nothing so special... but i can cook food... at least edible but not so restaurant quality..hehe
18. PRESENT CRUSH?
- someone
19. FAVORITE HANG-OUT?
- mall, coffeeshops
20. BEST PLACE TO SHOP?
- anywhere there is sale... i love helsinki center shops esp when esprit is on sale
21. DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH PLAYS?
- not really but it depends on the story
22. FAVORITE PLACE IN YOUR HOUSE?
- bedroom
23. BEST GIFT YOU'VE GIVEN?
- kiss... hahaha
24. WEIRDEST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
- stuffed toy from an officemate
25. GIFT THAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE AS OF THIS MOMENT?
- an engagement ring
26. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST QUALITY OF THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
- nobody sent this to me... i just got it from friendster
27. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO REPLY?
- nobody
28. ANONG ORAS NA?:
- 2:58pm
29. ANO SA KEYBOARD ANG PARATI MONG NAPIPINDOT
- caps lock
30. YAHOO OR HOTMAIL:
- yahoo
31. LEFT OR RIGHT:
- right
32. BLACK OR WHITE:
- black
33. BLACK OR BLUE PEN:
- black
34. SANDALS OR SHOES:
- shoes
35. COLGATE OR HAPPEE:
- colgate
36.chopsticks or spoon and fork?
- chopsticks
38. ROBOCOP OR RAMBO:
- robocop
39. JOLLIBEE OR MCDO:
- jollibee
40. COKE OR PEPSI:
- coke
41. SAN MIG LIGHT, LONE STAR LIGHT OR REDHORSE:
- san mig light
42. HOPE OR CAMEL (na yosi):
- marlboro =D
43. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO:
- pheng and kirt
44. LAST PERSON WHO TEXTED YOU:
- HH
45. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH:
- pheng and kirt
46. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY?
- someone
47. THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED:
- few weeks ago
48. SOMEONE TO BE WITH:
- family
49. YOU SEE ME ALWAYS EATING..
- nothing
50. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE:
- im not so chocolate fan
Saturday, August 28, 2004
THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS
1. Dont ever lie to us, we always find out.
2. We dont enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Dont say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are pretty, get over it.
5. You dont have PMS, don't act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you dont. (hehehe..)
8. Size dont reaLLy matter, its the performance!
9. We dont like it when you act like Mr Big, we like it when you are Mr Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
11. No matter what you say, your ex girl friend is a bitch.
12. Its good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie wont always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature, we cant help it.
16. We are drama queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Dont ask us to give head, if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paint ball or anything else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We dont shave our legs every day, get over it.
22. Dont make bets about us, we always find out.
23. Shave, no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it. (ei, i guess it depends...)
24. Even is you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. (so true...it's a total turn-off..)
25. Dont compare our breasts with Pamela Andersons, hers are fake(besides think about it you have a better chance with ours then ull ever have with hers) - no comment...
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. (talk about yuck!!!)
27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps.
28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we arent. (you better make it nice though if you dnt wanna get in trouble..)
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick so why the hell cant you piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly. We are always right, so don't forget it.
2. We dont enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Dont say you understand when you don't.
4. Girls are pretty, get over it.
5. You dont have PMS, don't act like you know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you dont. (hehehe..)
8. Size dont reaLLy matter, its the performance!
9. We dont like it when you act like Mr Big, we like it when you are Mr Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
11. No matter what you say, your ex girl friend is a bitch.
12. Its good to be sensitive, sometimes.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie wont always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature, we cant help it.
16. We are drama queens.
17. Fashion police do exist.
18. Dont ask us to give head, if you are nice you just might get it.
19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paint ball or anything else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We dont shave our legs every day, get over it.
22. Dont make bets about us, we always find out.
23. Shave, no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it. (ei, i guess it depends...)
24. Even is you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. (so true...it's a total turn-off..)
25. Dont compare our breasts with Pamela Andersons, hers are fake(besides think about it you have a better chance with ours then ull ever have with hers) - no comment...
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. (talk about yuck!!!)
27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps.
28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we arent. (you better make it nice though if you dnt wanna get in trouble..)
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick so why the hell cant you piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly. We are always right, so don't forget it.
More about me
*Nagmamadali ka ba ngayon?
>> nope...not at all
*Pag umalis ka ng Pilipinas kahit kailan, san ka pupunta?
>> finland... or probably hong kong for a vacation
LAST thing you bought?
>> medicine... pain reliever for my stitches
FAVORITE name?
>> kiel
FAVORITE number?
>> 6
FAVORITE time of the day?
>> night time
FAVORITE friend?
>> bes
FAVORITE weather?
>> rainy
FAVORITE enemy?
>> i believe i dont have one
FAVORITE hobby?
>> shopping... hehehe
FAVORITE color?
>> black, white, purple
FAVORITE food?
>> pasta
FAVORITE expressions
>> susmeme... hay naku!
FAVORITE website?
>> www.friendster.com
FAVORITE song?
>> my immortal... id still say yes
FAVORITE resto/fastfood?
>> gerry's, kfc, teriyaki boy, sugi
FAVORITE holiday/occasion?
>> my birthday
FAVORITE thing/possesion?
>> cellphone, laptop
FAVORITE exgirlfriend/exboyfriend?
>> someone
FAVORITE get-up?
>> jeans, shirt, walking shoes
FAVORITE place?
>> helsinki apartment couch
FAVORITE TV show?
>> csi, monk, kid notorious
FAVORITE radio station?
>> wrock
FAVORITE embarassing moment ?
>> ummm....
FAVORITE gift that you received?
>> flowers and stuffed toy from someone
FAVORITE member of the family?
>> my cousin
FAVORITE gift that you gave to someone?
>> myself... hahaha
FAVORITE person (past)?
>> someone
FAVORITE person (at present)?
>> HH
FAVORITE game?
>> warcraft 3
------------------------------------------------
Name ONE person who comes into ur mind in each question:
1. Always makes you laugh
--- bes
2. Always makes you angry
--- HH
3. Always makes fun of you
--- my ofcmates... esp yves
4. Always there for you?
--- family and friends
5. Always buys a present for you
--- HH
6. Always hangs out with you
--- ofcmates
7. Always smiles at you
--- colleagues
8. Always prays for you
--- HH
9. Always drives you around
--- HH
10. Always asks homework questions
--- younger sisters
11. Always needs your help
--- my family
12. Always makes you wait
--- someone
13. Always sleeps in class
--- cant remember
14. Always cannot make up his/her mind
--- me
15. Always late for class
--- ate jing
16. Never takes a bus/train/aeroplane
--- none that i know of
17. Has messy hair
--- mickey mike
18. Untidy
--- old college classmate
19. Someone you love?
--- my family
20. Last but not least... any IDOL?
--- none at the moment
>> nope...not at all
*Pag umalis ka ng Pilipinas kahit kailan, san ka pupunta?
>> finland... or probably hong kong for a vacation
LAST thing you bought?
>> medicine... pain reliever for my stitches
FAVORITE name?
>> kiel
FAVORITE number?
>> 6
FAVORITE time of the day?
>> night time
FAVORITE friend?
>> bes
FAVORITE weather?
>> rainy
FAVORITE enemy?
>> i believe i dont have one
FAVORITE hobby?
>> shopping... hehehe
FAVORITE color?
>> black, white, purple
FAVORITE food?
>> pasta
FAVORITE expressions
>> susmeme... hay naku!
FAVORITE website?
>> www.friendster.com
FAVORITE song?
>> my immortal... id still say yes
FAVORITE resto/fastfood?
>> gerry's, kfc, teriyaki boy, sugi
FAVORITE holiday/occasion?
>> my birthday
FAVORITE thing/possesion?
>> cellphone, laptop
FAVORITE exgirlfriend/exboyfriend?
>> someone
FAVORITE get-up?
>> jeans, shirt, walking shoes
FAVORITE place?
>> helsinki apartment couch
FAVORITE TV show?
>> csi, monk, kid notorious
FAVORITE radio station?
>> wrock
FAVORITE embarassing moment ?
>> ummm....
FAVORITE gift that you received?
>> flowers and stuffed toy from someone
FAVORITE member of the family?
>> my cousin
FAVORITE gift that you gave to someone?
>> myself... hahaha
FAVORITE person (past)?
>> someone
FAVORITE person (at present)?
>> HH
FAVORITE game?
>> warcraft 3
------------------------------------------------
Name ONE person who comes into ur mind in each question:
1. Always makes you laugh
--- bes
2. Always makes you angry
--- HH
3. Always makes fun of you
--- my ofcmates... esp yves
4. Always there for you?
--- family and friends
5. Always buys a present for you
--- HH
6. Always hangs out with you
--- ofcmates
7. Always smiles at you
--- colleagues
8. Always prays for you
--- HH
9. Always drives you around
--- HH
10. Always asks homework questions
--- younger sisters
11. Always needs your help
--- my family
12. Always makes you wait
--- someone
13. Always sleeps in class
--- cant remember
14. Always cannot make up his/her mind
--- me
15. Always late for class
--- ate jing
16. Never takes a bus/train/aeroplane
--- none that i know of
17. Has messy hair
--- mickey mike
18. Untidy
--- old college classmate
19. Someone you love?
--- my family
20. Last but not least... any IDOL?
--- none at the moment
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Survivor
Im back in the apartment. I was rushed to the hospital last monday because i was suffering from extreme stomach pain and i was vomitting. My ofcmates never thought that my condition was that worse. Anyways, chad brought me to the hospital. We had to transfer to the different hospitals three times because the hospitals earlier did not have facilities to cure my condition. The third hospital was Helsinki University Central Hospital. They admitted me there at around 2pm. They made me wait in the lobby because there were too many patients coming into the hospital. When they placed me in the ER, they placed dextrose in me and kept taking blood samples and urine sample. My arm really hurt. There were too much needles stuck in both my arms. The doctor told me that they're considering the possibility of appendicitis which means that they need to open me up and insert a tube with a camera to check what is causing my pain. Whatever my sickness was, i will still be under operation. Anyway, that same night around 11pm, i was rushed to the operating room. Nurses inserted several more needles in me. They also put me to sleep. That was the last thing i remembered before operation. I woke up at around 2am. My body was numb. All I wanted was to sleep. I tried to talk to the nurse and asked what my condition was. She said my right ovary was removed... not my appendix. The next morning, the doctor spoke to me, he said that my right ovary was swelling and it had twisted causing blood flow to stop. It had also had a cyst. So that's what was causing me so much pain.
Anyway, i was discharged from the hospital yesterday. kirt and chad picked me up from the hospital. I had some little problems with the bills but my office will take care of it. hopefully they will so i can bring home the documents from the hospital. I feel better now... except my stitches which are really awful! They used metal thing to stitch me up.. not the one that gets dissolved after sometime. so that means i need to get my stitches removed or else i will permanently alarm whenever i pass by a metal detector. hahaha..
I better take a rest now. HH has been so kind to text me everyday... he's worried about my condition. The architect on the other hand is nowhere to be found.... wala talagang kwenta! i just hate him for that.
Anyway, i was discharged from the hospital yesterday. kirt and chad picked me up from the hospital. I had some little problems with the bills but my office will take care of it. hopefully they will so i can bring home the documents from the hospital. I feel better now... except my stitches which are really awful! They used metal thing to stitch me up.. not the one that gets dissolved after sometime. so that means i need to get my stitches removed or else i will permanently alarm whenever i pass by a metal detector. hahaha..
I better take a rest now. HH has been so kind to text me everyday... he's worried about my condition. The architect on the other hand is nowhere to be found.... wala talagang kwenta! i just hate him for that.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Helsinki Adventure
It's been a tiring day for me. Kirt and I toured helsinki. Good thing i have a travel card so it's really cheap transferring from one mode of transpo to another. Yesterday we went to Hakaniemi to check out the store where kirt bought his trench coat. Then we went to Itakeskus, a big mall somewhere helsinki suburbs. I bought another pair of walking shoes... waaahhh!!! I feel guilty for buying another shoe! Anyway, it was on sale.. as in like 50% off that's why i bought it. I also bought kuya loi an esprit shirt. god i love this place! esprit stuff are all on sale! We ate ice cream at the helsinki central park. Banana chocolate is the best! =D
A while ago Kirt and I went to church. We took some pictures of the nearby park. We also went to the flea market. I bought some Suomi shirts there. The flea market is near the sea so we had the chance to check out the nice birds by the bay area. Kirt and I also went to the museum but we were not able to get in because it is closed. We had taken so much pictures today. Picture happy!
Last friday, the architect and I spoke with each other. we were discussing stuff about getting married. well... i am kinda worried. if ever he marries me, he'll ask me to quit my job and just be a housewife. how can i possibly do that? hayyy... i love my career but i also love him. i hope he changes his mind about me giving up my career. =(
A while ago Kirt and I went to church. We took some pictures of the nearby park. We also went to the flea market. I bought some Suomi shirts there. The flea market is near the sea so we had the chance to check out the nice birds by the bay area. Kirt and I also went to the museum but we were not able to get in because it is closed. We had taken so much pictures today. Picture happy!
Last friday, the architect and I spoke with each other. we were discussing stuff about getting married. well... i am kinda worried. if ever he marries me, he'll ask me to quit my job and just be a housewife. how can i possibly do that? hayyy... i love my career but i also love him. i hope he changes his mind about me giving up my career. =(
Anong Masasabi Mo
1. SA SARILI M0 NGAYON?
*** You are so confusing BG! Stop thinking! Just feel things.. use your heart!
2. EH SA MAHAL M0?
*** I would want to be the one for you. I will do everything to make you happy.
3. SA MAHAL NG MAHAL M0
*** Sana ako lang yun... kapag hindi ako... ill make you miserable for the rest of your life..hahaha
4. SA MGA FRENDZ M0?
*** Gimik tayo when i get home. 1week na lang yahu!!!!
5. SA KAAWAY M0?
*** wala naman akong kaaway... if somebody's mad at me... well... i dont know
6. SA PARENTZ M0?
*** i miss you ma and pa... ill be home soon
7. SA BESTFREND M0?
*** miss you bes... take care of my inaanak
8. SA MGA NAGKAKAGUSTO SAU?
*** hay naku wag na po... im taken and happy
9. SA MGA CHISM0SA?
*** mamatay kayo sa inggit..haha
10. SA MGA WALANG ISANG SALITA?
*** labo nyo!
11. SA PRESIDENTE NG SKUL NIYO?
*** ngeee
12. SA MGA KLASMEYT M0?
*** reunion! reunion!
13. SA MGA TEACHERS?
*** kay bart lang... hoy bart! magpakita ka naman sa min!
14. SA PRESIDENTE NATIN NGAUN?
*** do better mrs. president! i dont think youre doing good enough
15. SA MGA NAGPAPACUTE?
*** wag na magpa-cute... i dont have time for you im sorry
16. SA MGA KIKAY?
*** ingat ingat
17. SA MGA NAGMAMAGALING?
*** sana tumahimik na lang
18. SA MGA MAANGAS?
*** cool lang mga kids... baka mapahamak!
19. SA MGA KALALAKIHAN?
*** love women
20. SA MGA KABABAIHAN?
*** ingat sa mga manloloko
*** You are so confusing BG! Stop thinking! Just feel things.. use your heart!
2. EH SA MAHAL M0?
*** I would want to be the one for you. I will do everything to make you happy.
3. SA MAHAL NG MAHAL M0
*** Sana ako lang yun... kapag hindi ako... ill make you miserable for the rest of your life..hahaha
4. SA MGA FRENDZ M0?
*** Gimik tayo when i get home. 1week na lang yahu!!!!
5. SA KAAWAY M0?
*** wala naman akong kaaway... if somebody's mad at me... well... i dont know
6. SA PARENTZ M0?
*** i miss you ma and pa... ill be home soon
7. SA BESTFREND M0?
*** miss you bes... take care of my inaanak
8. SA MGA NAGKAKAGUSTO SAU?
*** hay naku wag na po... im taken and happy
9. SA MGA CHISM0SA?
*** mamatay kayo sa inggit..haha
10. SA MGA WALANG ISANG SALITA?
*** labo nyo!
11. SA PRESIDENTE NG SKUL NIYO?
*** ngeee
12. SA MGA KLASMEYT M0?
*** reunion! reunion!
13. SA MGA TEACHERS?
*** kay bart lang... hoy bart! magpakita ka naman sa min!
14. SA PRESIDENTE NATIN NGAUN?
*** do better mrs. president! i dont think youre doing good enough
15. SA MGA NAGPAPACUTE?
*** wag na magpa-cute... i dont have time for you im sorry
16. SA MGA KIKAY?
*** ingat ingat
17. SA MGA NAGMAMAGALING?
*** sana tumahimik na lang
18. SA MGA MAANGAS?
*** cool lang mga kids... baka mapahamak!
19. SA MGA KALALAKIHAN?
*** love women
20. SA MGA KABABAIHAN?
*** ingat sa mga manloloko
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Know More About Me
1. Pinakagusto mong tawag sayo?
> BG
2. Latest addiction?
> shoes... not latest.. it has always been my addiction
3. Pinakagusto mong vice?
> shopping... hahaha
4. Ano ang mga leisure plans mo within this year?
> another trip to cebu... treat my parents to a hongkong trip...
5. Meron ka bang crush ngayon? kung meron,sino?
> hmmm... just someone
6. Food na gusto mo kainin ngayon?
> more ice cream
7. Kung magiging white collared job employee ka for a day, ano gusto mo?
> architect
8. Nakakatawang HS memory
> all the bloppers during plays
9. Kalokohang ginawa nung college
> cheating! hehe
10. Last Song Syndrome (LSS) mo ngayon?
> rainbow
11. Unforgettable teachers / profs?
> ms. guzman, doc roxas, sir betan
12. Fave street food?
> fishballs and sago
13. fave childhood game?
> patintero with my cousins
14. Natatandaan mo pa panaginip mo kagabi?
> dreamt of someone meeting me in cebu =D
15. Natatandaan mo pa pangalan ng pinakauna nyong family pet?
> poochie... my uncle's dog
16. Time na sobrang nastress ka?
> few weeks ago when iip broke down and i was alone here in helsinki without any clue how to fix it
17. Kung magiging cast ka ng isang show/teleserye/anime, ano un?
> IMBY... so i could meet marco and make him realize how rude he treated me before
18. Pagkagcng mo, sino ang gusto mong makitang katabi?
> si someone
19. Ang babae physically attractive..
> pag sexy
20. Ang lalake physically attractive kapag..
> nice lips and eyes
21. Pinakagustong movie mo na kung san kasama ang pinakagusto mong artista?
> ocean's eleven... all the good looking guys are there!
22. Favorite line (from a song,movie,poem, etc?)
> "because id still say yes to you again"
23. Laging paalala ng magulang na lagi mo namang hnde sinusunod?
> always inform them if i am going home late
24. Anong masasabi mo sa huling movie na napanood mo?
> nice movie! harry potter
25. Kung may isang bagay kang sasabihin sa sarili mo, ano un?
> keep holding on BG.. everything will be alright.
> BG
2. Latest addiction?
> shoes... not latest.. it has always been my addiction
3. Pinakagusto mong vice?
> shopping... hahaha
4. Ano ang mga leisure plans mo within this year?
> another trip to cebu... treat my parents to a hongkong trip...
5. Meron ka bang crush ngayon? kung meron,sino?
> hmmm... just someone
6. Food na gusto mo kainin ngayon?
> more ice cream
7. Kung magiging white collared job employee ka for a day, ano gusto mo?
> architect
8. Nakakatawang HS memory
> all the bloppers during plays
9. Kalokohang ginawa nung college
> cheating! hehe
10. Last Song Syndrome (LSS) mo ngayon?
> rainbow
11. Unforgettable teachers / profs?
> ms. guzman, doc roxas, sir betan
12. Fave street food?
> fishballs and sago
13. fave childhood game?
> patintero with my cousins
14. Natatandaan mo pa panaginip mo kagabi?
> dreamt of someone meeting me in cebu =D
15. Natatandaan mo pa pangalan ng pinakauna nyong family pet?
> poochie... my uncle's dog
16. Time na sobrang nastress ka?
> few weeks ago when iip broke down and i was alone here in helsinki without any clue how to fix it
17. Kung magiging cast ka ng isang show/teleserye/anime, ano un?
> IMBY... so i could meet marco and make him realize how rude he treated me before
18. Pagkagcng mo, sino ang gusto mong makitang katabi?
> si someone
19. Ang babae physically attractive..
> pag sexy
20. Ang lalake physically attractive kapag..
> nice lips and eyes
21. Pinakagustong movie mo na kung san kasama ang pinakagusto mong artista?
> ocean's eleven... all the good looking guys are there!
22. Favorite line (from a song,movie,poem, etc?)
> "because id still say yes to you again"
23. Laging paalala ng magulang na lagi mo namang hnde sinusunod?
> always inform them if i am going home late
24. Anong masasabi mo sa huling movie na napanood mo?
> nice movie! harry potter
25. Kung may isang bagay kang sasabihin sa sarili mo, ano un?
> keep holding on BG.. everything will be alright.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Blue Ginger's Brain
It's been three days since I have been eating breakfast at Jaime's hotel. He's a Hilton Honors gold card holder so he gets lots of freebies in his hotel. Kirt and I ate like pigs every morning. hahaha.. I just love Scandic Continental's croissant. It's absolutely good!
I have been doing a lot of talking with jaime and kirt. They have been giving me a good idea on what my life will gonna be 10 years from now if i end up with the architect. They were giving me options on what my decision should be. If I end up marrying the architect, would I be able to accept his kids even if the kids doesnt accept me? What if he's not really serious about me because he did not even have a hard time winning me back... how hard can it be to chat while working right? there were lots of things that made me change my decision about the architect.
since the other day... the day we had an argument... he never spoken to me again. i just got a message from him in friendster that he is too tired to reply to my email and he badly needs rest after a long and tiring day and he hopes that i understand this. wtf is he trying to do??? if there's a contest for the most understanding person in this world, I might win the first place! well, i think everything is starting to be more clear to me now. i have fallen in love with someone who never gives me importance. i have spent my time and effort making him feel that i love him even if i wasnt getting anything in return. i feel so stupid! grrrr!
i learned something from jaime's sermons... the happiest people are those who are contented with what they have. Simple life gives happiness. Ignorance is bliss. If I want to be happy, I should be contented with what I have. I cant have everything in life and there is no way that I can please everybody. Maybe I should just be alone for a change so that I can clear my head first before going into another relationship.
the other day, I have spoken with saidie... guess what he's still in love with me. WTF! i just wish it was the architect who will love me like that. well... human likes something he cannot have. hayyy... when it rains, it pours and it causes floods. but when it's tigang... it's literally tigang! i just wish there will be a miracle or something.
im so tired from work. i was trying to work properly but my brain is not functioning properly as it should. buti na lang my bes tried to talk to me awhile ago. she did some sermon about the architect and getting married. she said that i should enjoy my single life first and just think about getting serious after 5 years. talk about another BI! hahaha. thank you bes!
i miss manila so badly. i have started to psyche myself about forgetting the architect. i just wish i could. if have fallen for him badly but ill make sure that he falls for me more badly. hahaha... bad BG!
I have been doing a lot of talking with jaime and kirt. They have been giving me a good idea on what my life will gonna be 10 years from now if i end up with the architect. They were giving me options on what my decision should be. If I end up marrying the architect, would I be able to accept his kids even if the kids doesnt accept me? What if he's not really serious about me because he did not even have a hard time winning me back... how hard can it be to chat while working right? there were lots of things that made me change my decision about the architect.
since the other day... the day we had an argument... he never spoken to me again. i just got a message from him in friendster that he is too tired to reply to my email and he badly needs rest after a long and tiring day and he hopes that i understand this. wtf is he trying to do??? if there's a contest for the most understanding person in this world, I might win the first place! well, i think everything is starting to be more clear to me now. i have fallen in love with someone who never gives me importance. i have spent my time and effort making him feel that i love him even if i wasnt getting anything in return. i feel so stupid! grrrr!
i learned something from jaime's sermons... the happiest people are those who are contented with what they have. Simple life gives happiness. Ignorance is bliss. If I want to be happy, I should be contented with what I have. I cant have everything in life and there is no way that I can please everybody. Maybe I should just be alone for a change so that I can clear my head first before going into another relationship.
the other day, I have spoken with saidie... guess what he's still in love with me. WTF! i just wish it was the architect who will love me like that. well... human likes something he cannot have. hayyy... when it rains, it pours and it causes floods. but when it's tigang... it's literally tigang! i just wish there will be a miracle or something.
im so tired from work. i was trying to work properly but my brain is not functioning properly as it should. buti na lang my bes tried to talk to me awhile ago. she did some sermon about the architect and getting married. she said that i should enjoy my single life first and just think about getting serious after 5 years. talk about another BI! hahaha. thank you bes!
i miss manila so badly. i have started to psyche myself about forgetting the architect. i just wish i could. if have fallen for him badly but ill make sure that he falls for me more badly. hahaha... bad BG!
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!
Have I ever_____this past week?
1.Fallen in love?
--> yes... fallen hard again... but the wrong person again!!!! grrrrr
2.Smiled?
--> laughed actually!
3.Cried?
--> trying not to
4.Laughed so much?
--> yah... jaime's been telling so much jokes a while ago
5.Hurt yourself?
--> hmmm.. accidentally burned myself while cooking
6.Went shopping?
--> last week.. just a little
7.Met new people?
--> not really
8.Eaten your favorite food?
--> taho? waaaahhhh! im craving for taho
9.Went to your favorite place?
--> hmmm... my favorite place is sweden! havent been there since my first time.
10.Went out with your guy?
--> nope! he's so far away
11.Went out with another guy?
--> yes but not a date! he's my ofcmate for christ's sake!
12.Attended a social party?
--> nope... not in the 2 months im here
13.Physically hurt someone?
--> sarili ko lang because of some stupid accidents
14.Felt insecure?
--> yes... because he doesnt have time for me
15.Made a difficult decision?
--> yes... two weeks ago i made the most difficult decision. too bad i made the wrong one still.
16.Helped anyone?
--> lagi!
17.Lied?
--> yah... i have to do it so i wouldnt hurt other people
18.Been humiliated?
--> not really
20.Received a love letter?
--> is an email counted?
21.Written a love letter?
--> email to someone
22.Talked to the person you love?
--> not in a long time
23.Kissed anyone?
--> 2 months ago before i left for helsinki
24.Hugged anyone?
--> 2 months ago before i left for helsinki
25.Sworn?
--> hay naku... promise promise pa di ko naman magawa!
26.Proposed to someone?
--> nope
27.Received a proposal?
--> not a marriage proposal but a relationship proposal two weeks ago
28.Read a book you like?
--> nahhh... no time to read
29.Played any game?
--> warcraft
30.Watched a movie?
--> 2 months ago na yun! waaaaahhhh! i badly need to watch a movie soon
31.Taken any alcohol?
--> around june pa yung last time
32.Done any drug?
--> my pain reliever everytime my sickness attacks
33.Hated anyone?
--> yes... but can you hate someone you love?
34.Been hated by anyone?
--> i dont know.. maybe
35.Made love?
--> been a while... =(
36.Been wounded?
--> lagi naman e... because of wrong decisions and tanga way of thinking
37.Allowed anyone sleep on your bed?
--> nobody
38.Slept in another person's bed?
--> hmmm... di po
39.Had a nightmare?
--> lastweek... wasnt able to sleep so well because of someone
40.Been cheated by your guy?
--> hmmm... not sure about that but id surely make him miserable if i discover that
41.Cheated your man?
--> ummm... technically yes
42.Wanted to do revenge?
--> not really... i just want him to get what he deserves
43.Wished that you're dead?
--> absolutely not!
44.Wished that somebody's dead?
--> minsan.. pero kinakain ko din e
45.Dated?
--> a lot of times
46.Danced?
--> been a long time
47.Experienced a Last-Song-Syndrome?
--> yah! lalo na pag mag-isa and the song is nice
--> yes... fallen hard again... but the wrong person again!!!! grrrrr
2.Smiled?
--> laughed actually!
3.Cried?
--> trying not to
4.Laughed so much?
--> yah... jaime's been telling so much jokes a while ago
5.Hurt yourself?
--> hmmm.. accidentally burned myself while cooking
6.Went shopping?
--> last week.. just a little
7.Met new people?
--> not really
8.Eaten your favorite food?
--> taho? waaaahhhh! im craving for taho
9.Went to your favorite place?
--> hmmm... my favorite place is sweden! havent been there since my first time.
10.Went out with your guy?
--> nope! he's so far away
11.Went out with another guy?
--> yes but not a date! he's my ofcmate for christ's sake!
12.Attended a social party?
--> nope... not in the 2 months im here
13.Physically hurt someone?
--> sarili ko lang because of some stupid accidents
14.Felt insecure?
--> yes... because he doesnt have time for me
15.Made a difficult decision?
--> yes... two weeks ago i made the most difficult decision. too bad i made the wrong one still.
16.Helped anyone?
--> lagi!
17.Lied?
--> yah... i have to do it so i wouldnt hurt other people
18.Been humiliated?
--> not really
20.Received a love letter?
--> is an email counted?
21.Written a love letter?
--> email to someone
22.Talked to the person you love?
--> not in a long time
23.Kissed anyone?
--> 2 months ago before i left for helsinki
24.Hugged anyone?
--> 2 months ago before i left for helsinki
25.Sworn?
--> hay naku... promise promise pa di ko naman magawa!
26.Proposed to someone?
--> nope
27.Received a proposal?
--> not a marriage proposal but a relationship proposal two weeks ago
28.Read a book you like?
--> nahhh... no time to read
29.Played any game?
--> warcraft
30.Watched a movie?
--> 2 months ago na yun! waaaaahhhh! i badly need to watch a movie soon
31.Taken any alcohol?
--> around june pa yung last time
32.Done any drug?
--> my pain reliever everytime my sickness attacks
33.Hated anyone?
--> yes... but can you hate someone you love?
34.Been hated by anyone?
--> i dont know.. maybe
35.Made love?
--> been a while... =(
36.Been wounded?
--> lagi naman e... because of wrong decisions and tanga way of thinking
37.Allowed anyone sleep on your bed?
--> nobody
38.Slept in another person's bed?
--> hmmm... di po
39.Had a nightmare?
--> lastweek... wasnt able to sleep so well because of someone
40.Been cheated by your guy?
--> hmmm... not sure about that but id surely make him miserable if i discover that
41.Cheated your man?
--> ummm... technically yes
42.Wanted to do revenge?
--> not really... i just want him to get what he deserves
43.Wished that you're dead?
--> absolutely not!
44.Wished that somebody's dead?
--> minsan.. pero kinakain ko din e
45.Dated?
--> a lot of times
46.Danced?
--> been a long time
47.Experienced a Last-Song-Syndrome?
--> yah! lalo na pag mag-isa and the song is nice
Monday, August 16, 2004
Today....
1. musta day mo?
not so good. i kept on thinking about someone. i wasnt able to work properly today even if i was busy.
2. anong ginawa mo ngayon araw?
work... work... and more work....
3. what is the most flattering words you heard today?
wala... pathetic ko noh?
4. may advice bang binigay sayo ngayon araw na to?
yes, sabi ni saidie i should stop pushing myself to someone na alam nyang sasakatan lang ako.
5. Nasurprise ka ba ngayon araw?
not at all... nothing made me happy today. =(
6. happiest thing na nangyari sayo ngayong raw?
wala nga e. bwisit!
7. anong plano mo bukas?
sana mag-gym... that is kung hindi tatamarin. hehehe
8. san ka excited?
to eat. gutom na ko!
9. what are you planning to do tonight?
wala.. sleep... try to get him out of my head
10. sino ang taong nagpasaya sayo ngayong
wala =( im so pathetic
11. mayroon bang galit sa puso mo ngayon?
meron!
12. worst happened to you today?
he did not even try to talk to me... hayyy
13. may minamahal ka ba ngayon?
meron... yun nga lang di yata ako mahal
14. namimiss mo ngayon?
someone.. =(
15. happy or sad today?
so damn sad... after our argument last night.. i havent spoken to him again
16. sino huli mong tinext?
bes
17. may crush ka ba ngyn?
wala
18. Sinong picture/s mo sa wallet?
family... ex
19. anong resolution mo this day?
try to stop thinking of him!
20. best thing you did today?
i think i did great during the meeting
21. may natutunan ka ba ngayon araw?
yah.. from jaime
22. message to someone?
i hope we can still work things out. i didnt mean what i said last night.
23. message to yourself?
BG... be patient. you might not be appreciating your decision right now but everything will be fine in time. just keep on believing. wishes can sometimes come true. i hope!
not so good. i kept on thinking about someone. i wasnt able to work properly today even if i was busy.
2. anong ginawa mo ngayon araw?
work... work... and more work....
3. what is the most flattering words you heard today?
wala... pathetic ko noh?
4. may advice bang binigay sayo ngayon araw na to?
yes, sabi ni saidie i should stop pushing myself to someone na alam nyang sasakatan lang ako.
5. Nasurprise ka ba ngayon araw?
not at all... nothing made me happy today. =(
6. happiest thing na nangyari sayo ngayong raw?
wala nga e. bwisit!
7. anong plano mo bukas?
sana mag-gym... that is kung hindi tatamarin. hehehe
8. san ka excited?
to eat. gutom na ko!
9. what are you planning to do tonight?
wala.. sleep... try to get him out of my head
10. sino ang taong nagpasaya sayo ngayong
wala =( im so pathetic
11. mayroon bang galit sa puso mo ngayon?
meron!
12. worst happened to you today?
he did not even try to talk to me... hayyy
13. may minamahal ka ba ngayon?
meron... yun nga lang di yata ako mahal
14. namimiss mo ngayon?
someone.. =(
15. happy or sad today?
so damn sad... after our argument last night.. i havent spoken to him again
16. sino huli mong tinext?
bes
17. may crush ka ba ngyn?
wala
18. Sinong picture/s mo sa wallet?
family... ex
19. anong resolution mo this day?
try to stop thinking of him!
20. best thing you did today?
i think i did great during the meeting
21. may natutunan ka ba ngayon araw?
yah.. from jaime
22. message to someone?
i hope we can still work things out. i didnt mean what i said last night.
23. message to yourself?
BG... be patient. you might not be appreciating your decision right now but everything will be fine in time. just keep on believing. wishes can sometimes come true. i hope!
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Stripped
name : Blue Ginger
nicknames : BG, Blue
sex : F
birthday : 11.24
age : EARLY TWENTIES
star sign : SAGITTARIUS
place of birth : QC
current residence: HELSINKI, FINLAND... IM GOING HOME IN 2 WEEKS =)
hair colour : BLACK
eye colour : BROWN
height : 5'2"
do you cut yourself?: NOT INTENTIONALLY... LIKE THE OTHER DAY I CUT MYSELF WHILE COOKING DINNER
____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS____
do you bite your nails : YES... BAD HABIT!
can you roll your tongue : YAH
can you raise one eyebrow at a time : JUST THE RIGHT EYEBROW
can you blow smoke rings: I USED TO.. I JUST DONT KNOW NOW IF I CAN STILL DO IT. IM TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING!
can you blow spit bubbles : EWWW.. NO
can you cross your eyes: YES
colored hair: NO.. MOM WOULDNT LIKE THAT!
tattoos and where : NONE. NO PLANS OF HAVING ONE
piercing and where: IN BOTH EARS
do you make your bed daily : NOT REALLY.. IM ALWAYS IN A HURRY AFTER WAKING UP
what goes on first shirt or underwear : UNDERWEAR OF COURSE!
which shoe goes on first : MOST OF THE TIME IT'S THE RIGHT
speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : NOPE
how much money is usually in your wallet?: MINIMUM IS 500PHP
what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : EARRINGS
would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : ON TIME AND LOOK OK
do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : TWIRL
how many cereals are in your cabinet : JUST OATS
what utensils do you use eating pizza : KNIFE AND FORK
do you cook : YES... IM DOING A GREAT JOB LEARNING NEW DISHES
____GROOMiNG____
how often do you brush your teeth : MINIMUM OF TWICE A DAY
how often do you shower/bathe : MINIMUM OF TWICE A DAY
how long do these showers last : FASTEST IS 5MINS... LONGEST CAN TAKE AN HOUR
hair drying method: TOWEL DRY. IF I HAVE TIME, BLOWDRY
do you paint your nails : NO
do you swear : SOMETIMES
do you mumble to yourself : YES
do you spit in public : HELL NO!
do you pee in the shower: NO
whats in your cd player : NOTHING
people you talk most on the phone with : MY TEAMMATES IN MANILA, MOM
what color is your bedroom : HELSINKI BEDROOM IS WHITE. MANILA BEDROOM IS PURPLE
do you use an alarm clock : MY FONE
ever sunbathed in the nude: NO
window seat or aisle : ON A PLANE, WINDOW
whats your sleeping position: LYING ON MY FRONT
what kind of bed do you like : ID LIKE A LOW BED.. CLOSE TO THE FLOOR.
in hot weather do you use a blanket : NO
do you snore : USUALLY NO. BUT IF IM SO, SO TIRED, I KNOW I SNORE
do you sleepwalk : WHEN I WAS A KID
do you sleep with a stuffed animal : NO
how about the light on : NO
do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : TV
do you sleep in the nude? NO. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO TRY THAT.
____WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU____
watched bambi : CANT REMEMBER
cried : LAST WEEK WHEN I BROKE UP WITH SOMEBODY
talked on the phone : THIS MORNING WITH MY SISTER
read a book : LAST NIGHT..JAVA CERTIFICATION BOOK
punched someone : PROBABLY 2 MONTHS AGO
____MUSiC____
is music important to you : YES!!!
what instruments do you play? : GUITAR, PIANO
what do you think of Eminem : GREAT MUSIC
___DO YOU LiKE___
pop music : YES
rock music : NOT MUCH
punk music : NGEE
rap music : NOT MUCH BUT IF IT'S NOT TOO NOISY I COULD LISTEN TO IT
hip-Hop/RB : YES
electronica : NGEE
jazz : YES
classical : YES
new age : YES
what is one band/singer you like that no one has heard of? NONE
your word : TARAGIS, WTF, SH*T
nicknames : BG, Blue
sex : F
birthday : 11.24
age : EARLY TWENTIES
star sign : SAGITTARIUS
place of birth : QC
current residence: HELSINKI, FINLAND... IM GOING HOME IN 2 WEEKS =)
hair colour : BLACK
eye colour : BROWN
height : 5'2"
do you cut yourself?: NOT INTENTIONALLY... LIKE THE OTHER DAY I CUT MYSELF WHILE COOKING DINNER
____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS____
do you bite your nails : YES... BAD HABIT!
can you roll your tongue : YAH
can you raise one eyebrow at a time : JUST THE RIGHT EYEBROW
can you blow smoke rings: I USED TO.. I JUST DONT KNOW NOW IF I CAN STILL DO IT. IM TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING!
can you blow spit bubbles : EWWW.. NO
can you cross your eyes: YES
colored hair: NO.. MOM WOULDNT LIKE THAT!
tattoos and where : NONE. NO PLANS OF HAVING ONE
piercing and where: IN BOTH EARS
do you make your bed daily : NOT REALLY.. IM ALWAYS IN A HURRY AFTER WAKING UP
what goes on first shirt or underwear : UNDERWEAR OF COURSE!
which shoe goes on first : MOST OF THE TIME IT'S THE RIGHT
speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : NOPE
how much money is usually in your wallet?: MINIMUM IS 500PHP
what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : EARRINGS
would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : ON TIME AND LOOK OK
do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : TWIRL
how many cereals are in your cabinet : JUST OATS
what utensils do you use eating pizza : KNIFE AND FORK
do you cook : YES... IM DOING A GREAT JOB LEARNING NEW DISHES
____GROOMiNG____
how often do you brush your teeth : MINIMUM OF TWICE A DAY
how often do you shower/bathe : MINIMUM OF TWICE A DAY
how long do these showers last : FASTEST IS 5MINS... LONGEST CAN TAKE AN HOUR
hair drying method: TOWEL DRY. IF I HAVE TIME, BLOWDRY
do you paint your nails : NO
do you swear : SOMETIMES
do you mumble to yourself : YES
do you spit in public : HELL NO!
do you pee in the shower: NO
whats in your cd player : NOTHING
people you talk most on the phone with : MY TEAMMATES IN MANILA, MOM
what color is your bedroom : HELSINKI BEDROOM IS WHITE. MANILA BEDROOM IS PURPLE
do you use an alarm clock : MY FONE
ever sunbathed in the nude: NO
window seat or aisle : ON A PLANE, WINDOW
whats your sleeping position: LYING ON MY FRONT
what kind of bed do you like : ID LIKE A LOW BED.. CLOSE TO THE FLOOR.
in hot weather do you use a blanket : NO
do you snore : USUALLY NO. BUT IF IM SO, SO TIRED, I KNOW I SNORE
do you sleepwalk : WHEN I WAS A KID
do you sleep with a stuffed animal : NO
how about the light on : NO
do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : TV
do you sleep in the nude? NO. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO TRY THAT.
____WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU____
watched bambi : CANT REMEMBER
cried : LAST WEEK WHEN I BROKE UP WITH SOMEBODY
talked on the phone : THIS MORNING WITH MY SISTER
read a book : LAST NIGHT..JAVA CERTIFICATION BOOK
punched someone : PROBABLY 2 MONTHS AGO
____MUSiC____
is music important to you : YES!!!
what instruments do you play? : GUITAR, PIANO
what do you think of Eminem : GREAT MUSIC
___DO YOU LiKE___
pop music : YES
rock music : NOT MUCH
punk music : NGEE
rap music : NOT MUCH BUT IF IT'S NOT TOO NOISY I COULD LISTEN TO IT
hip-Hop/RB : YES
electronica : NGEE
jazz : YES
classical : YES
new age : YES
what is one band/singer you like that no one has heard of? NONE
your word : TARAGIS, WTF, SH*T
Awhile ago
1 MINUTE AGO:
--- i was chatting with somebody
1 HOUR AGO:
--- i was cooking dinner
1 DAY AGO:
--- i was busy with work
1 WEEK AGO:
--- worried about someone
1 YEAR AGO:
--- i was happy in a relationship
1 YEAR FROM NOW:
--- kasama ko na yung gusto ko makasama for the rest of my life
1 WEEK AFROM NOW:
--- i will start packing my things
1 DAY FROM NOW:
--- i am working again! argghh!
1 HOUR FROM NOW:
--- i will be washing the dishes
1 MINUTE FROM NOW:
--- try to chat with someone
I HURT:
--- when someone get's hurt
I LOVE:
--- someone so much
I HATE:
--- liars
I FEAR:
--- losing people i love
I HOPE:
--- I can fix my life and make the right decisions soon
I FEEL:
--- sad na happy na hindi ko maintindihan... mixed emotions
I HIDE:
--- my legs!
I DRIVE:
--- my life... no car yet
I NEED:
--- to be next to someone... =)
I THINK:
--- i am a complicated person with so many wants in life.
I DREAM:
--- of spending the rest of my life with someone
I WANT:
--- to go home and go to cebu
I MISSed:
--- someone so much
I BELIEVE:
--- there will always be light at the end of the tunnel
--- i was chatting with somebody
1 HOUR AGO:
--- i was cooking dinner
1 DAY AGO:
--- i was busy with work
1 WEEK AGO:
--- worried about someone
1 YEAR AGO:
--- i was happy in a relationship
1 YEAR FROM NOW:
--- kasama ko na yung gusto ko makasama for the rest of my life
1 WEEK AFROM NOW:
--- i will start packing my things
1 DAY FROM NOW:
--- i am working again! argghh!
1 HOUR FROM NOW:
--- i will be washing the dishes
1 MINUTE FROM NOW:
--- try to chat with someone
I HURT:
--- when someone get's hurt
I LOVE:
--- someone so much
I HATE:
--- liars
I FEAR:
--- losing people i love
I HOPE:
--- I can fix my life and make the right decisions soon
I FEEL:
--- sad na happy na hindi ko maintindihan... mixed emotions
I HIDE:
--- my legs!
I DRIVE:
--- my life... no car yet
I NEED:
--- to be next to someone... =)
I THINK:
--- i am a complicated person with so many wants in life.
I DREAM:
--- of spending the rest of my life with someone
I WANT:
--- to go home and go to cebu
I MISSed:
--- someone so much
I BELIEVE:
--- there will always be light at the end of the tunnel
Friday, August 13, 2004
Better Days
I had a tough day at work today. I was a victim again of unusual problems in the IIP Tool. hayyy... so unlucky!
I did something good today... i sent saidie a message in his friendster. he immediately replied! finally we were able to patch things up. nothing romantic of course!
I did it.. I sent someone an email telling him how i felt with our situation. i dont know if it's the right thing to do but i just hope it was. it's been a week and the last time he communicated with me was last tuesday i think. it wasnt easy for me to decide so i just ask him to decide for both of us. if he makes an effort to communicate, then that means he is serious about our relationship. if he doesnt make any effort, that means it's the end. at least i spared myself from the guilt of leaving someone again because he's the one who'se making a decision not me. actually, ive readied myself for any decision he's going to make. good luck to me. i hope everything goes well.
sleeping time! gudnyt!
I did something good today... i sent saidie a message in his friendster. he immediately replied! finally we were able to patch things up. nothing romantic of course!
I did it.. I sent someone an email telling him how i felt with our situation. i dont know if it's the right thing to do but i just hope it was. it's been a week and the last time he communicated with me was last tuesday i think. it wasnt easy for me to decide so i just ask him to decide for both of us. if he makes an effort to communicate, then that means he is serious about our relationship. if he doesnt make any effort, that means it's the end. at least i spared myself from the guilt of leaving someone again because he's the one who'se making a decision not me. actually, ive readied myself for any decision he's going to make. good luck to me. i hope everything goes well.
sleeping time! gudnyt!
Food Stuff
1. During lunchtime, do you get a drink first or the food?
- drink which is usually water
2. More rice than ulam or more ulam than rice?
– more rice and just little ulam
3. How many cups of rice do you consume per day?
– minimum of 1 maximum of 3.
4. Do you bite utensils?
– no
5. Can fruits serve as ulam?
– never!
6. Do you put peanut butter on both sides of the bread or just one side?
– both sides of course. i love peanut butter!
7. Do you drink water from the pitcher bottle?
– sometimes i do. hehehe
8. Would you drink beer or any hard drink with straw?
- probably not when a guy will be drinking it
9. If you were eating potato chips and one fell on your lap, would you still pick it up and eat it?
- Yup.
10. Would you eat horse rectum for a thousand pesos? A hundred? A billion??
– probably a billion!
11. Do you eat balut?
– yes! but not the bird though
12. Do you believe that siopao is made of cat meat?
- No... i dont want to think that it is cat... i love siopao esp kowloon
13. Have you tried eating dog meat?
– no. i dont want too
14. You like sisig?
- Yes
15. Are you a coffee addict?
- yah i think so... i bit reformed though
16. Do you spend a lot of money on food?
– here in helsinki... hell no! but in manila i pig out
17. Lutong bahay or Fastfood?
– Lutong bahay
18. Do you still bring a lunchbox to work?
– here in finland, yes.
19. Would you share a glass of water with a friend?
- of course
20. Would you share a spoon with a friend?
– depends on who that friend is
21. Would you eat your friends' leftovers if you were broke?
– no
22. Ever had a food fight?
– hmmm... not really
23. Are you a messy eater?
– Nope.
24. Pepsi or coke?
– coke in manila. pepsi in helsinki.
25. Sprite or seven up?
– sprite
26. Scrambled eggs or sunny side up?
- scrambled.. a bit raw
27. What do you think of leftovers?
– for the dogs
28. Do you recycle plastic cups and utensils?
– depends
29. Can you do something else while eating or drinking?
– do work in front of pc, watch tv, read some stuff
30. Can you squirt milk out of your eyes?
– yuck!
32. Have you tried drinking water with a little sugar?
– yah ive tried it when i was a kid
33. Cold pizza or warm beer?
– cold pizza
34. Thought of eating gum under benches/tables/chair?
– yuck
35. Ever seen a pig/cow/goat being butchered?
– yah... a pig
36. Ever licked maple syrup off someone else's skin?
- That’s kinky… haven’t tried it.
- drink which is usually water
2. More rice than ulam or more ulam than rice?
– more rice and just little ulam
3. How many cups of rice do you consume per day?
– minimum of 1 maximum of 3.
4. Do you bite utensils?
– no
5. Can fruits serve as ulam?
– never!
6. Do you put peanut butter on both sides of the bread or just one side?
– both sides of course. i love peanut butter!
7. Do you drink water from the pitcher bottle?
– sometimes i do. hehehe
8. Would you drink beer or any hard drink with straw?
- probably not when a guy will be drinking it
9. If you were eating potato chips and one fell on your lap, would you still pick it up and eat it?
- Yup.
10. Would you eat horse rectum for a thousand pesos? A hundred? A billion??
– probably a billion!
11. Do you eat balut?
– yes! but not the bird though
12. Do you believe that siopao is made of cat meat?
- No... i dont want to think that it is cat... i love siopao esp kowloon
13. Have you tried eating dog meat?
– no. i dont want too
14. You like sisig?
- Yes
15. Are you a coffee addict?
- yah i think so... i bit reformed though
16. Do you spend a lot of money on food?
– here in helsinki... hell no! but in manila i pig out
17. Lutong bahay or Fastfood?
– Lutong bahay
18. Do you still bring a lunchbox to work?
– here in finland, yes.
19. Would you share a glass of water with a friend?
- of course
20. Would you share a spoon with a friend?
– depends on who that friend is
21. Would you eat your friends' leftovers if you were broke?
– no
22. Ever had a food fight?
– hmmm... not really
23. Are you a messy eater?
– Nope.
24. Pepsi or coke?
– coke in manila. pepsi in helsinki.
25. Sprite or seven up?
– sprite
26. Scrambled eggs or sunny side up?
- scrambled.. a bit raw
27. What do you think of leftovers?
– for the dogs
28. Do you recycle plastic cups and utensils?
– depends
29. Can you do something else while eating or drinking?
– do work in front of pc, watch tv, read some stuff
30. Can you squirt milk out of your eyes?
– yuck!
32. Have you tried drinking water with a little sugar?
– yah ive tried it when i was a kid
33. Cold pizza or warm beer?
– cold pizza
34. Thought of eating gum under benches/tables/chair?
– yuck
35. Ever seen a pig/cow/goat being butchered?
– yah... a pig
36. Ever licked maple syrup off someone else's skin?
- That’s kinky… haven’t tried it.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Working til Dawn
what's the first thing that comes to MY
mind?????
1. flowers - tulips... they just grow in plant boxes along the street of helsinki
2. rain - i like it when it rains. weather is cold and is too conducive for... hahaha
3. darkness - brownout
4. friendship - one of the things i value most
5. pencil - mech pen na ninenok from nokia stockroom... hahaha
6. long distance relationship - the architect.. someone =)
7. plastic - food containers
8. bed sheets - need to do laundry!
9. government - gloria's government.. the reason why dollars went up!
10. water - cant live without them... my favorite drink
11. blue - the jacket i wanted to buy =(
12. braces - i badly need one
13. gym - Nokia gym
14. love - what keeps me going
15. school - upmla... i miss being a student
16. family - i miss home
17. kiss - hmmm... long delayed kiss from someone
18. survey - answering something like this
19. friendster - when im bored i check on my friendster
20. mc donalds - ang mahal ng mcdo meal dito sa helsinki grabe!
21. california - hope to be there soon
22. yellow - mike.. this is his fave color
23. finger - ring... engagement ring??? hehehe
24. honey - my cousin honey
25. cell phone - Nokia 6230!!!!!
26. eagle - ateneo
27. pillow - huggable... pretend it's someone while i am away from home
28. boxers - i love wearing them for pantulog
29. lipstick - brown color
30. boracay - never been there but hope to visit it some time
31. advertising - my cousin karen's course
32. sex - ahem... =)
33. white - i used to have lots of white shirts in college... i wonder where they are now
34. movies - i badly need to watch a movie... harry potter pa huli ko napanood noh!
35. peanuts - i hate peanuts esp in chocolates and ice cream
36. yawn - contagious
37. health - need to take care of it now... im in a bad shape
38. mickey mouse - fave cartoon character ni bes
39. makati - office
40. PDA - i dont think i need one though
41. angelo dela cruz - hayy.. bad decision of government
42. separation - id still say yes
43. math - i love math
44. underwear - lacy undies
45. air plane - boeing 747
46. occasion - anniversary
47. tounge - french kiss... hahaha
48. jeepney - i miss home
49. kwek-kwek - wow sarap!
50. magical - sweden =)
mind?????
1. flowers - tulips... they just grow in plant boxes along the street of helsinki
2. rain - i like it when it rains. weather is cold and is too conducive for... hahaha
3. darkness - brownout
4. friendship - one of the things i value most
5. pencil - mech pen na ninenok from nokia stockroom... hahaha
6. long distance relationship - the architect.. someone =)
7. plastic - food containers
8. bed sheets - need to do laundry!
9. government - gloria's government.. the reason why dollars went up!
10. water - cant live without them... my favorite drink
11. blue - the jacket i wanted to buy =(
12. braces - i badly need one
13. gym - Nokia gym
14. love - what keeps me going
15. school - upmla... i miss being a student
16. family - i miss home
17. kiss - hmmm... long delayed kiss from someone
18. survey - answering something like this
19. friendster - when im bored i check on my friendster
20. mc donalds - ang mahal ng mcdo meal dito sa helsinki grabe!
21. california - hope to be there soon
22. yellow - mike.. this is his fave color
23. finger - ring... engagement ring??? hehehe
24. honey - my cousin honey
25. cell phone - Nokia 6230!!!!!
26. eagle - ateneo
27. pillow - huggable... pretend it's someone while i am away from home
28. boxers - i love wearing them for pantulog
29. lipstick - brown color
30. boracay - never been there but hope to visit it some time
31. advertising - my cousin karen's course
32. sex - ahem... =)
33. white - i used to have lots of white shirts in college... i wonder where they are now
34. movies - i badly need to watch a movie... harry potter pa huli ko napanood noh!
35. peanuts - i hate peanuts esp in chocolates and ice cream
36. yawn - contagious
37. health - need to take care of it now... im in a bad shape
38. mickey mouse - fave cartoon character ni bes
39. makati - office
40. PDA - i dont think i need one though
41. angelo dela cruz - hayy.. bad decision of government
42. separation - id still say yes
43. math - i love math
44. underwear - lacy undies
45. air plane - boeing 747
46. occasion - anniversary
47. tounge - french kiss... hahaha
48. jeepney - i miss home
49. kwek-kwek - wow sarap!
50. magical - sweden =)
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I am confused! Help!
the past week was really crazy! ive done lots of things that i am not sure of. ive made decisions out of nowhere. hayyyy... now i dont know if i am regretting... hayyy life!
first, thursday last week i spoke with an ex. he was my last ex and we were together for couple of years. it was a long distance relationship though because he was in cebu. he is divorced, has 3 kids (10, 4, 3), an architect, businessman, hardworking and responsible dad. i dont know what's wrong with me that day... when he asked me back, i immediately said yes.. with no hesitations... with no questions asked. the problem is, i was in a relationship for 3 years with somebody else.
second, he demanded that i break up with the other guy. because i am madly, deeply and uberly in love with this guy, i gave up my 3year relationship with the other guy last sunday. that guy that i just gave up loves me so much. he'd give up everything just to win me back. he loves me more than he loves himself. and i cannot love him as much as he loves me. =( worse of all, i cant dare tell this new ex that i am into another relationship... which is the reason why i broke up with him.
third, my current bf.. the architect... has a kid. his daughter caught dengue. and so the responsible dad is to the rescue. he was so worried that he forgot all about me. im not a demanding person but he is really so deadma about me. not even an sms, a call, an email or even an offline msg. hayyy...
i feel confused. i am starting to think that i made the wrong decision of choosing the guy to spend my life with. i am in helsinki and both of them are in pinas. one in manila, one in cebu. i cant do anything. for 5 years, something in me kept wondering what if the architect and i are meant for each other. this was like a dream come true. but i cant say that i did not love guy#2. i loved him as much as i could but i can never love him as much as i have loved the architect. i just love him enough to keep the relationship going for 3 years. now, guy#2 always makes an effort to communicate with me.... unlike the architect who forgot all about me. guy#2 would text me everyday, wait for me to go online so we could chat. i can feel he really loves me and he'd do anything to win me back. i just feel sad that i dont want to let go of the architect yet. i am willing to wait for him until he finishes taking care of his sick daughter. but if he doesnt make any effort before i come home to manila by the end of august, ill let him go. ill go back to guy#2 who never failed to show me how much he loved me. i still feel guilty... but not as much as the few days that i was two-timing. call me segurista, maybe that's what i really am. i have so much love to give and i wanted to give it to somebody who doesnt have time for me?? c'mon... im not the martyr he met 5 years ago. ive changed... i dont want my time to go to waste. id rather spend it with someone who can appreciate my presence and the kind of love that i can give. im really confused... god please enlighten me. =(
first, thursday last week i spoke with an ex. he was my last ex and we were together for couple of years. it was a long distance relationship though because he was in cebu. he is divorced, has 3 kids (10, 4, 3), an architect, businessman, hardworking and responsible dad. i dont know what's wrong with me that day... when he asked me back, i immediately said yes.. with no hesitations... with no questions asked. the problem is, i was in a relationship for 3 years with somebody else.
second, he demanded that i break up with the other guy. because i am madly, deeply and uberly in love with this guy, i gave up my 3year relationship with the other guy last sunday. that guy that i just gave up loves me so much. he'd give up everything just to win me back. he loves me more than he loves himself. and i cannot love him as much as he loves me. =( worse of all, i cant dare tell this new ex that i am into another relationship... which is the reason why i broke up with him.
third, my current bf.. the architect... has a kid. his daughter caught dengue. and so the responsible dad is to the rescue. he was so worried that he forgot all about me. im not a demanding person but he is really so deadma about me. not even an sms, a call, an email or even an offline msg. hayyy...
i feel confused. i am starting to think that i made the wrong decision of choosing the guy to spend my life with. i am in helsinki and both of them are in pinas. one in manila, one in cebu. i cant do anything. for 5 years, something in me kept wondering what if the architect and i are meant for each other. this was like a dream come true. but i cant say that i did not love guy#2. i loved him as much as i could but i can never love him as much as i have loved the architect. i just love him enough to keep the relationship going for 3 years. now, guy#2 always makes an effort to communicate with me.... unlike the architect who forgot all about me. guy#2 would text me everyday, wait for me to go online so we could chat. i can feel he really loves me and he'd do anything to win me back. i just feel sad that i dont want to let go of the architect yet. i am willing to wait for him until he finishes taking care of his sick daughter. but if he doesnt make any effort before i come home to manila by the end of august, ill let him go. ill go back to guy#2 who never failed to show me how much he loved me. i still feel guilty... but not as much as the few days that i was two-timing. call me segurista, maybe that's what i really am. i have so much love to give and i wanted to give it to somebody who doesnt have time for me?? c'mon... im not the martyr he met 5 years ago. ive changed... i dont want my time to go to waste. id rather spend it with someone who can appreciate my presence and the kind of love that i can give. im really confused... god please enlighten me. =(
Monday, August 09, 2004
Q&A again
1. PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS OUT, NOW HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I burned myself while cooking dinner.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
which room? in helsinki? nothing.. just clean white walls. in manila, f4 posters! hahaha. that's my sister's posters and not mine... (deny pa?!)
3. WOULD YOU RATHER WATCH OR PLAY FOOTBALL:
I would want to play but i dont know how.
4. WHAT SPORT WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE BEST AT?
I think volleyball... but if you could consider playing warcraft a sport, that's what im best at. hehehe
5. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE:
when one of my loved ones died... knock on the wood. i woke up crying!
6. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE?
At least twice a week i go to the gym. bike, weights, stretching... and a lot of walking
7. APPLES OR ORANGES?
oranges
8. GRAPES OR WATERMELON?
watermelon
9. WOLVES OR TIGERS?
tigers
10. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
i only listen to soft music and at the most, dance music.. i hate loud music
11. HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN POETRY?
yah i think so.. but that was a long time ago!
13. DO YOU REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS?
sometimes yes. when i dont forget to put an alarm on my phone.hehehe
14. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
nope... but it's probably in my birth records
15. DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK, WHERE?
i believe none
16. WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A ROMANTIC PERSON?
im a hopeless romantic.
17. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?
none that i know of
18. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU STARTED FILLING THIS IN?
chatting with somebody
19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUM?
i think it's trident.. i tastes like pepsodent
20. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE?
im not a big fan of chocolates
21. FAVORITE CANDY (NON CHOCOLATE)?
jolly rancher apple flavor
22. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE-CREAM?
vanilla
23. DO YOU OWN ANYTHING LEATHER?
a lot of leather shoes, bags, wallets
24. FAVORITE COLOGNE?
victoria's secret - secret crush, calgon turquoise something
25. FAVORITE PERFUME
Carolina Herrera
26. DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?
a guitar
27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON SOMEONE (OPPOSITE SEX)?
lips, eyes
28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
sweat of someone.. hahaha
29. FAVORITE SOUND THAT YOU HEAR OFTEN?
someone calling me baby =)
30. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW?
what time should i sleep?
31. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
sometimes in the mall... i get too dizzy
32. COULD YOU EVER SEE YOURSELF MOVING FROM WHERE YOU ARE?
of course! i really want to go home!
33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
Monsters Inc
34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME?
Id Still Say Yes.. The Way You Look Tonight.
35. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WHEN YOU WERE TEN?
i think violet
36. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
brown
37. HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yup, but i removed it. i replaced it with a lot of pillows.
38. IF SO WHAT WAS/IS IT'S NAME?
a pig
39. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
our neighbor who was way older than me
40. MOST EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MOMENT
i cant remember...
41. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
any as long as clean cut
42. WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE?
someone who can make me laugh, intellectually stimulating, absolutely responsible
43. WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS (SAME SEX) HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST?
ate jing, kay
44. NOW THE OPPOSITE?
gabs
45. WHAT IS THEIR MIDDLE NAME?
laolao, evangelista, abat
46. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?
both
47. WHERE AT
At a great beach or on top of a cliff with an ocean view…=)
48. (FOR THE LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
At a romantic spot in Europe…sigh…(yes, I’m cheesy)
49. (NOW THE GENTLEMEN, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
50. WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES?
Ocean's Eleven
Something's Gotta Give
Daredevil
Lord of the Rings 3
Underworld
57. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON?
hmmm... i want to go to this resort in cebu.. plantation bay
58. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
I can play the guitar and I used to play the piano…
59. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
filipino only besides english
60. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
a ring from an ex bf
61. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER?
no one particular
62. FAVORITE BAND(s)?
Freestyle, South Border
63. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Inspirational, fiction, java books (whahaha! geek!)
64. DO YOU LIKE POETRY?
just fine
65. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE?
cafe mocha... mocha frappe
66. WHAT's your favorite PHRASE to use?
"yeah ryt"
67. DRAGONS OR DINOSAURS?
dragons
68. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
definitely yes
69. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
say it and show it
71. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
six
72. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?:
does not matter
73. WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ICE SKATING OR ROLLER SKATING?
ice skating
74. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
mom's number
75. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
kulit people when im busy and cannot talk to them. people who doesnt think before talking. people who are yabang and oh-so-hangin
I burned myself while cooking dinner.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
which room? in helsinki? nothing.. just clean white walls. in manila, f4 posters! hahaha. that's my sister's posters and not mine... (deny pa?!)
3. WOULD YOU RATHER WATCH OR PLAY FOOTBALL:
I would want to play but i dont know how.
4. WHAT SPORT WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE BEST AT?
I think volleyball... but if you could consider playing warcraft a sport, that's what im best at. hehehe
5. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE:
when one of my loved ones died... knock on the wood. i woke up crying!
6. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE?
At least twice a week i go to the gym. bike, weights, stretching... and a lot of walking
7. APPLES OR ORANGES?
oranges
8. GRAPES OR WATERMELON?
watermelon
9. WOLVES OR TIGERS?
tigers
10. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
i only listen to soft music and at the most, dance music.. i hate loud music
11. HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN POETRY?
yah i think so.. but that was a long time ago!
13. DO YOU REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS?
sometimes yes. when i dont forget to put an alarm on my phone.hehehe
14. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
nope... but it's probably in my birth records
15. DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK, WHERE?
i believe none
16. WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A ROMANTIC PERSON?
im a hopeless romantic.
17. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?
none that i know of
18. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU STARTED FILLING THIS IN?
chatting with somebody
19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUM?
i think it's trident.. i tastes like pepsodent
20. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE?
im not a big fan of chocolates
21. FAVORITE CANDY (NON CHOCOLATE)?
jolly rancher apple flavor
22. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE-CREAM?
vanilla
23. DO YOU OWN ANYTHING LEATHER?
a lot of leather shoes, bags, wallets
24. FAVORITE COLOGNE?
victoria's secret - secret crush, calgon turquoise something
25. FAVORITE PERFUME
Carolina Herrera
26. DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?
a guitar
27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON SOMEONE (OPPOSITE SEX)?
lips, eyes
28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
sweat of someone.. hahaha
29. FAVORITE SOUND THAT YOU HEAR OFTEN?
someone calling me baby =)
30. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW?
what time should i sleep?
31. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
sometimes in the mall... i get too dizzy
32. COULD YOU EVER SEE YOURSELF MOVING FROM WHERE YOU ARE?
of course! i really want to go home!
33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
Monsters Inc
34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME?
Id Still Say Yes.. The Way You Look Tonight.
35. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WHEN YOU WERE TEN?
i think violet
36. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
brown
37. HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yup, but i removed it. i replaced it with a lot of pillows.
38. IF SO WHAT WAS/IS IT'S NAME?
a pig
39. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
our neighbor who was way older than me
40. MOST EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MOMENT
i cant remember...
41. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
any as long as clean cut
42. WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE?
someone who can make me laugh, intellectually stimulating, absolutely responsible
43. WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS (SAME SEX) HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST?
ate jing, kay
44. NOW THE OPPOSITE?
gabs
45. WHAT IS THEIR MIDDLE NAME?
laolao, evangelista, abat
46. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?
both
47. WHERE AT
At a great beach or on top of a cliff with an ocean view…=)
48. (FOR THE LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
At a romantic spot in Europe…sigh…(yes, I’m cheesy)
49. (NOW THE GENTLEMEN, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
50. WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES?
Ocean's Eleven
Something's Gotta Give
Daredevil
Lord of the Rings 3
Underworld
57. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON?
hmmm... i want to go to this resort in cebu.. plantation bay
58. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
I can play the guitar and I used to play the piano…
59. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
filipino only besides english
60. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
a ring from an ex bf
61. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER?
no one particular
62. FAVORITE BAND(s)?
Freestyle, South Border
63. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Inspirational, fiction, java books (whahaha! geek!)
64. DO YOU LIKE POETRY?
just fine
65. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE?
cafe mocha... mocha frappe
66. WHAT's your favorite PHRASE to use?
"yeah ryt"
67. DRAGONS OR DINOSAURS?
dragons
68. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
definitely yes
69. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
say it and show it
71. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
six
72. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?:
does not matter
73. WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ICE SKATING OR ROLLER SKATING?
ice skating
74. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
mom's number
75. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
kulit people when im busy and cannot talk to them. people who doesnt think before talking. people who are yabang and oh-so-hangin
Friday, August 06, 2004
tanong agn
1) Available or Taken:
** very much taken
2) Gender:
** female
3) Birthday:
** 11/24/1980
4) Sign:
** Sagittarius
5) Siblings:
** april, mait, kakay, diane
6) Favorite sport:
** hmmm... warcraft!?! :D
1) Have you ever smoked?:
** trying to quit
2) What kind of shampoo do you use?:
** head and shoulders
3) What are you most scared of?:
** losing important people in my life
4) What are you listening to right now?:
** nothing... sound of dishwasher...hehehe
5) What vehicle do you wish to have?
** a bentley perhaps
6) Who was the last person u called?
** someone
7) Where do you want to get married?
** let's see... somewhere far and romantic
8) How many messenger buddies do you have online rite now?
** seven
9) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
** being moody
*-;-* F a v o u r i t e s *-;-*
1) Colors:
** black, white, purple
2) Food:
** taho, pasta, shrimp
3) Guy's name:
** i like the sound of kiel
4) Girl's name:
** probably liah
5) Animal:
** hmmm... i dont have a pet.. i would want a pet pig :D
6) Games:
** warcraft 3
*-;-* H a V e Y o U e V e R *-;-*
1) Given anyone a bath?
** yes... baby cousin
2) Done something so stupid you couldn't sleep at night?
** yes! just last night :D
3) Broken the law?:
** nope
4) Make yourself throw up?
** yes
5) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?:
** nope
*-;-* F i R s T t H i N g C o M e S t O m I n D *-
;-*
1) Red: ** my dream red phone
2) Cow: ** stockholm, sweden
3) Socks: ** black socks
4) Greenland: ** GMT
*-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-*
1) Do you like filling these out?
** not much.. i am desperate not to get bored
2) How many people are you sending this to?:
** no one
3) Who will send it back?
** nobody
4) Gold or Silver?:
** white gold :D
5) What is the last movie you saw?
** harry potter 3
6) Favourite cartoon characters?:
** boo
7) What do you have for breakfast in the morning?
** in manila, taho. in helsinki, cereals
8) Who would you hate being locked in a room alone with?:
** someone who cannot get it unlocked
9)Who would you love being locked in an elevator alone with?:
** =D
10)How long did you take to fill this out?
** an hour
** very much taken
2) Gender:
** female
3) Birthday:
** 11/24/1980
4) Sign:
** Sagittarius
5) Siblings:
** april, mait, kakay, diane
6) Favorite sport:
** hmmm... warcraft!?! :D
1) Have you ever smoked?:
** trying to quit
2) What kind of shampoo do you use?:
** head and shoulders
3) What are you most scared of?:
** losing important people in my life
4) What are you listening to right now?:
** nothing... sound of dishwasher...hehehe
5) What vehicle do you wish to have?
** a bentley perhaps
6) Who was the last person u called?
** someone
7) Where do you want to get married?
** let's see... somewhere far and romantic
8) How many messenger buddies do you have online rite now?
** seven
9) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
** being moody
*-;-* F a v o u r i t e s *-;-*
1) Colors:
** black, white, purple
2) Food:
** taho, pasta, shrimp
3) Guy's name:
** i like the sound of kiel
4) Girl's name:
** probably liah
5) Animal:
** hmmm... i dont have a pet.. i would want a pet pig :D
6) Games:
** warcraft 3
*-;-* H a V e Y o U e V e R *-;-*
1) Given anyone a bath?
** yes... baby cousin
2) Done something so stupid you couldn't sleep at night?
** yes! just last night :D
3) Broken the law?:
** nope
4) Make yourself throw up?
** yes
5) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?:
** nope
*-;-* F i R s T t H i N g C o M e S t O m I n D *-
;-*
1) Red: ** my dream red phone
2) Cow: ** stockholm, sweden
3) Socks: ** black socks
4) Greenland: ** GMT
*-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-*
1) Do you like filling these out?
** not much.. i am desperate not to get bored
2) How many people are you sending this to?:
** no one
3) Who will send it back?
** nobody
4) Gold or Silver?:
** white gold :D
5) What is the last movie you saw?
** harry potter 3
6) Favourite cartoon characters?:
** boo
7) What do you have for breakfast in the morning?
** in manila, taho. in helsinki, cereals
8) Who would you hate being locked in a room alone with?:
** someone who cannot get it unlocked
9)Who would you love being locked in an elevator alone with?:
** =D
10)How long did you take to fill this out?
** an hour
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
What Hurts
- letting go of a person u've just learned to love
- reminiscing the good times u shared together
- shielding ur heart to love somebody
- trying to hide what u really feel
- trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
- loving a person too much
- giving up someone u never thought of giving up
- having the right love at the wrong time
- taking the risk to fall in love again
- hiding ur relationship from someone else
- controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
- thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks a single thought of you...
- letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
- holding back only to find out when it's too late,you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
- falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall inlove with
- finding the perfect guy...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...the way you want him to...
- helping the one you love "court" your friend
- seeing the one you love crying for someone else
- the waiting also hurts like hell
- having to hear "... I've met someone"
- agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
- asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with her'
- asking u to 'forget that everything happened' and be 'normal' friends again.
-hearing that u're treated as a little sis (ouch!)
-sharing his future plans for the girl with you.
-u stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.
-being denied in front of people.
-telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame' (whew!)
-he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex (done he left 4 u!)
-breaking someone's heart
-fighting for that one thing that would make you happy that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his commitment unless he fix himself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time will tell...ang labo lang niya...but you still decided to hope in him and trust him
-PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
-PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness
-lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...
-being with someone you can't actually love...
-pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
-being in love...
-letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting because it was your decision
-seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...
-having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
-having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
-admitting that you love someone despite his imperfections
-finding out that the more you try to hate him, the more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than before
-realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
-the thought that this guy, used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough and he gave up on you
-Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."
-making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...
-the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
After you've been hurt...
....learning to forgive
....learning to trust and love again
But the hardest thing really is learning to love yourself. We always forget to do this.
- reminiscing the good times u shared together
- shielding ur heart to love somebody
- trying to hide what u really feel
- trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
- loving a person too much
- giving up someone u never thought of giving up
- having the right love at the wrong time
- taking the risk to fall in love again
- hiding ur relationship from someone else
- controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
- thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks a single thought of you...
- letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
- holding back only to find out when it's too late,you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
- falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall inlove with
- finding the perfect guy...with only one prob....he doesnt love you...the way you want him to...
- helping the one you love "court" your friend
- seeing the one you love crying for someone else
- the waiting also hurts like hell
- having to hear "... I've met someone"
- agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
- asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with her'
- asking u to 'forget that everything happened' and be 'normal' friends again.
-hearing that u're treated as a little sis (ouch!)
-sharing his future plans for the girl with you.
-u stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.
-being denied in front of people.
-telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame' (whew!)
-he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex (done he left 4 u!)
-breaking someone's heart
-fighting for that one thing that would make you happy that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his commitment unless he fix himself...then, you are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time will tell...ang labo lang niya...but you still decided to hope in him and trust him
-PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
-PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your weakness
-lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have...
-being with someone you can't actually love...
-pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
-being in love...
-letting go even if you really don't want to... having no right to say you are hurting because it was your decision
-seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and not being able to help that person...
-having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
-having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
-admitting that you love someone despite his imperfections
-finding out that the more you try to hate him, the more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than before
-realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
-the thought that this guy, used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough and he gave up on you
-Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else....."
-making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered....the commitment is no longer there...
-the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
After you've been hurt...
....learning to forgive
....learning to trust and love again
But the hardest thing really is learning to love yourself. We always forget to do this.
I am a rescuer
|
You Are A Relationship Rescuer!You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think. You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule. And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that Do You Ruin Relationships? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
Left or right
You Are Left Brained In Love
Cool and clearheaded
Tend not to get swept away
Dependable and trustworthy
Able to look at thing objectively
Honest and direct in relationships
Rely on standards when picking a man
Good at solving relationship problems
Ready to compete for your sweetie's heart
Articulate, a good conversationalist, and witty
Think overly romantic displays are a waste of time
A few serious boyfriends as opposed to many flings
Notice all of the details about your guy - good and bad
Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
Quiz Again
Guys Like That You're SensitiveAnd not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
|
SATC quiz
 |
You Are Most Like Carrie!You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated. Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like? Take This Quiz Right Now! Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
Release 4 Review Results
I wasnt prepared for this day. I even woke up late this morning so I got to the office a bit late... 9am is a bit late for me though. Anyways, this afternoon I had a review meeting for our Release 4. My stupid Outlook did not warn me about the meeting. Well it usually pops up something to remind me about the meeting but this time it did not pop anything. I was 15mins late for the meeting. I even got lost when finding the meeting room. It was on the 4th floor which I have only visited once. I had to call hanna and ask her to guide my way in finding the meeting room. During the meeting, it was mentioned that my team has sent the erroneous package last week and they even had the document written about it. waaahhh!!! that was so rude of them! It was just one mistake that I can never take back! Well, too bad i can never turn back time. It's been done.. well at least I have learned something from it.
This week, I have learned something important... Never trust the package. A second, third and fourth test on the package will not hurt. Bad thing is that I have to learn it the hard way.
I really feel sad about it... I feel depressed and tensed. My two bosses know about it but our big boss back in Manila does have any idea about it. yikes! This matters to him a lot because my company is supposed to receive a bonus if we can deliver perfect packages all the time. This is so depressing!
I wish something good happens to me this week. The past weeks has been so bad for me. Problems and more problems about work just keeps coming. I know god would not give me problems that I cannot solve. But what the heck... I am a good person and I dont deserve this!
This week, I have learned something important... Never trust the package. A second, third and fourth test on the package will not hurt. Bad thing is that I have to learn it the hard way.
I really feel sad about it... I feel depressed and tensed. My two bosses know about it but our big boss back in Manila does have any idea about it. yikes! This matters to him a lot because my company is supposed to receive a bonus if we can deliver perfect packages all the time. This is so depressing!
I wish something good happens to me this week. The past weeks has been so bad for me. Problems and more problems about work just keeps coming. I know god would not give me problems that I cannot solve. But what the heck... I am a good person and I dont deserve this!
Cant resist to take this quiz
You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it showsHowever, you can show some restraint. You love good deals. Your love of the clearance rack has paid off... You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all! |  |
Are You a Shopaholic? Take This Quiz :-)
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Complaints!
Finally I had the urge to write a blog again! Last week and this week has been really tough.
First, the sudden shutdown of the server instances of our application in the production environment. This was really bad since I had no idea why they were shutting down. People here in the Nokia office has been panicking. I am all alone and I have to give a solution to these panicking people. Not to mention they flooded my email with their complaints and the Project Manager called for an emergency meeting about this errors in the server. I can't help but panic too. For three straight days, they flooded my mailbox! Imagine how much emails I had to answer just to make them shutup. Well, I actually wished that their mailserver will fuckup so i'd stop receiving their mails. As last week ended, we found a solution to this matter and the PM praised me and my company for acting fast on this. My boss in manila even thanked me for doing a great job.
Second, just when I thought I can breathe normally now, another problem came... the deployment package last monday was not working properly. I tried looking at the logs but I didnt find anything. I was so clueless! As always, the client panicked again! The package was for the new version of the software in QA environment. Emails again was flooding but only less than that of lastweek's. Since I did not find anything wrong with the package, I just suggested to the client to redeploy our package.
Third, hanna was about to go home at 4pm. Manila team was also asking me to send an email about the changes in one of our documents then forward it to the client for reviewing. Hanna was also waiting for me to give her a solution to the erroneous package. waaahhh!!! what am I supposed to do first?! they both gave me deadlines at the same time and both are not easy to do. wtf do they think I am? wonderwoman or something?!
Fourth, when I got here in the office this morning, I was greeted by a not so good mail. The client has redeployed the package as I suggested yesterday but the errors were still the same. They were getting the same errors like yesterdays. And so I asked for Manila team's help since I was so clueless once again. They sent me another package... I had to test it first before I had it deployed to the client's QA. Just imagine how slow my pc is!? It took me hours to test a stupid package! Client panicking, computer so slow... get the picture?? When I got the new package from manila and tested it, I had to make a very sincere apologetic email to the client. Waaahhhh! as if it was my fault that the package that was sent to me earlier was fucked up.
Fifth, the client was happy that I finally corrected the error that appeared since Monday. The problem now is we have this quality assurance guarantee to the client. it is either we get this percentage of bonus if we deliver good stuff or not get it at all. It seems that after this fucked up release, we wont be getting that bonus anymore?! my boss will surely be so mad about this.
Sixth, Im so damn tired and tensed the past week. I hope this panicking and problems stop coming out while im alone here. This is too much for an experience. Both client and my bosses has been praising me for a job well done but it isnt enough to make my work a little bit easier. It's not my fault to be workaholic, take my work seriously and being organization savvy. I just hope destiny doesnt take advantage of these qualities of mine! I badly need a break!!!
First, the sudden shutdown of the server instances of our application in the production environment. This was really bad since I had no idea why they were shutting down. People here in the Nokia office has been panicking. I am all alone and I have to give a solution to these panicking people. Not to mention they flooded my email with their complaints and the Project Manager called for an emergency meeting about this errors in the server. I can't help but panic too. For three straight days, they flooded my mailbox! Imagine how much emails I had to answer just to make them shutup. Well, I actually wished that their mailserver will fuckup so i'd stop receiving their mails. As last week ended, we found a solution to this matter and the PM praised me and my company for acting fast on this. My boss in manila even thanked me for doing a great job.
Second, just when I thought I can breathe normally now, another problem came... the deployment package last monday was not working properly. I tried looking at the logs but I didnt find anything. I was so clueless! As always, the client panicked again! The package was for the new version of the software in QA environment. Emails again was flooding but only less than that of lastweek's. Since I did not find anything wrong with the package, I just suggested to the client to redeploy our package.
Third, hanna was about to go home at 4pm. Manila team was also asking me to send an email about the changes in one of our documents then forward it to the client for reviewing. Hanna was also waiting for me to give her a solution to the erroneous package. waaahhh!!! what am I supposed to do first?! they both gave me deadlines at the same time and both are not easy to do. wtf do they think I am? wonderwoman or something?!
Fourth, when I got here in the office this morning, I was greeted by a not so good mail. The client has redeployed the package as I suggested yesterday but the errors were still the same. They were getting the same errors like yesterdays. And so I asked for Manila team's help since I was so clueless once again. They sent me another package... I had to test it first before I had it deployed to the client's QA. Just imagine how slow my pc is!? It took me hours to test a stupid package! Client panicking, computer so slow... get the picture?? When I got the new package from manila and tested it, I had to make a very sincere apologetic email to the client. Waaahhhh! as if it was my fault that the package that was sent to me earlier was fucked up.
Fifth, the client was happy that I finally corrected the error that appeared since Monday. The problem now is we have this quality assurance guarantee to the client. it is either we get this percentage of bonus if we deliver good stuff or not get it at all. It seems that after this fucked up release, we wont be getting that bonus anymore?! my boss will surely be so mad about this.
Sixth, Im so damn tired and tensed the past week. I hope this panicking and problems stop coming out while im alone here. This is too much for an experience. Both client and my bosses has been praising me for a job well done but it isnt enough to make my work a little bit easier. It's not my fault to be workaholic, take my work seriously and being organization savvy. I just hope destiny doesnt take advantage of these qualities of mine! I badly need a break!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)