Im back to work since monday. Yehey!!!! Im currently reporting to Nokia Philippine's office here in philam bldg, makati. It's great to handle another new project.

Im going out with old college friends tonight. Finally i am going on a gimik! Yipee!

The architect sent me a message... im starting to feel confused again. hayy... =( but anyway, i'll try not to think about him now. I still have a gimik to enjoy for tonight. I'll talk about it on my next blog.

Have a nice evening everyone!

I think ive answered this survey before... im just not that sure. anyway ill answer it again... baka may nabago sa mga sagot ko. :D

1. Pinakagusto mong tawag sayo?
when someone calls me baby... mushy mushy mushy

2. Latest addiction?
shopping... never changed

3. Pinakagusto mong gawin?
go back to work... yeah right BG!

4. Ano ang mga leisure plans mo within this year?
treat my parents to a hong kong trip

5. Meron ka bang crush ngayon?
wala

6. Food na gusto mo kainin ngayon?
taho

7. Kung magiging white collared job employee ka for a day, ano gusto mo?
architect

8. Nakakatawang HS memory
getting caught eating inside the classroom then being sent in the principal's office

9. Kalokohang ginawa noong college
cheating in exams, nagpaiyak ng teacher, stalk my crush, cutting classes, movies after exams

10. Last Song Syndrome (LSS) mo ngayon?
unwell

11. Unforgettable teacher / prof?
bart

12. Fave street food?
isaw, taho, fishballs, sago

13. fave childhood game?
patintero

14. Natatandaan mo pa panaginip mo kagabi?
nope

15. Natatandaan mo pa pangalan ng pinakauna mong dog?
kuchi

16. Time na sobrang nastress ka?
a month ago while i was alone in finland

17. Kung magiging cast ka ng isang movie...
cant think of any at the moment

18. Paggcng mo, sino ang gusto mong makitang katabi?
someone

19. Ang babae physically attractive kapag..
sexy and pretty face

20. Ang lalake physically attractive kapag..
sexy, nice lips and eyes

21. Pinakagustong movie mo na kung san kasama ang pinakagusto mong artista?
ocean's eleven.. where the goodlooking guys are

22. Favorite line (from a song,movie,poem, etc?)
cant think of any

23. Laging paalala ng magulang na lagi mo namang hnde sinusunod?
uwi ng maaga

24. Anong masasabi mo sa huling movie na napanood mo?
watched cheaper by the dozen... funny movie

25. Kung may isang bagay kang sasabihin sa sarili mo, ano un?
he's still the same person you met 5years ago and he never changed. move on BG.

Yehey i have a tag board na! Yipee!!!!

Still stuck at home... =(

As usual, im still stuck here at home. I am halfway done with the warcraft3 frozen throne campaign.... no cheats!!! that is how bored i am.

Hey john, congrats! Goodluck to the two of you and god bless. I am so happy for you.

Im planning to buy a new pc this weekend. Well, it will be used for gaming and some of my programming projects... (read: raket) Any suggestions on the specs??? The cheaper the better of course! hehehe.

Im in manila na. I got home monday last week. I just got back my laptop from kirt. he brought it home from helsinki because i wasnt allowed to carry anything heavy for my carry-on baggage. this is the Nth boring day in my life! god i miss working... well as of the moment i do miss working because i havent been doing anything here at home except to sleep, eat and watch tv. what a boring life! i guess i havent just learned how to enjoy idle time. who would ever enjoy staying at home with nothing to do??? geeks probably... hahaha.

my business class trip going home to manila was the best. the longest walk i can remember on my way home was when i got off from the taxi going to the check-in counter in the helsinki airport. that was the longest! most of the time im either on a wheelchair or onboard a golfcar going to places in the helsinki, frankfurt and manila airports. The food in the plane was so good. They even give you a menu to choose your food. then i have my own tv panel where i watched Garfield The Movie, Lizzie McGuire, Hidalgo, etc. Pasensha na... it was my first time to be on business class. The six hours wait in the frankfurt airport was not so long because the lufthansa official asked me to have a check-up with the airport clinic. It so happened that there were so many people in the clinic so i had to wait for two hours for my turn. I also stayed in the business class lounge. I just slept for the remaining 4hours of my wait.

HH fetched me from the airport. mom and pop were also there. we had dinner at gerry's grill at jupiter. when we got home, HH and i had a long and dramatic talk. Ive made my decision... I asked HH to make a decision on how our relationship should be. I told him that I cannot guarantee that things will be easy with me. I also cannot guarantee that we will live a blissful life together. I also told him that I will be a hypocrite if id deny the fact that i am still inlove with someone. and after telling him all those things, he said he is still willing to risk it all. He is still willing to love me with all his heart even if he knew that he is sharing me with someone else. I know HH loves me so much and is willing to embrace everything about me even all my flaws and shortcomings. I feel so lucky for having him and i just cant understand myself why i cannot love this person as much as someone which in fact, HH deserves to be loved like that. Maybe things are just not meant to happen. Maybe i am destined to love someone but be with somebody else. Destiny hasnt been kind to me eversince. In life, you really cannot have it all. I may have a great career... a loving family... great friends... but not the person i truly love.

I have been psyching myself on forgetting someone. I have been trying hard not to start communicating with him. I just got an email from him the other day that he just got out of the hospital a couple of days ago and he'll just write me a longer email when he has time. talking about the devil... I realized i deserve attention and time. I love someone but he cannot love me the way i want him to... or not even the way he is supposed to. as what the essay i have posted earlier stated, it is easy to say that you love someone but it is so hard to commit. That essay perfectly fits my situation with someone. He is telling the truth when he said that he loves me. I believe him. But the problem is, he's not ready to commit. Maybe I just pushed him to commit when we talked last month. Btw, it was our first monthsary last Sept.6. Anyway, he's a busy man but if he really wants a commitment with me, he should make time for it. I dont know if i should still believe his excuses when he says that he doesnt have time. Or maybe he's telling the truth that he doesnt have time... he doesnt have time to spend on someone who's willing to wait for him forever. Maybe he thinks BG will always be there so no matter how much i neglect her today, she will still be there when i find some free time in the future. hayy... sad.... I dont know. I love him but right now i need somebody to cling on to while i am in the process of healing... both physically and emotionally. The pain of him hurting me is more painful than that of my stitches. I am really glad HH is here.

There's a rainbow after the rain. I really hope there is....

Im leaving helsinki at 2:30pm. Finally, i will be able go back home. It's just amazing at how things happen at an instant... when decisions change as often as it could. Yep... ive finally decided to work things out again with HH. I asked god to give me a sign for today if i am meant to wait for the architect once again. When i woke up this morning, I immediately checked my email and friendster. No mails or messages from him... NADA! We'll it's not surprising anyway. He always has this tendency to make me wait since i am the woman who always patiently waited for him. For Christ's sake, i have waited long enough! A real gentleman wouldnt let women wait. If he doesnt want me, then i dont want him either. It's so obvious that he doesnt want any commitment now and i am just pushing myself to him. so better yet... break up with him. im just waiting to see him and break his heart in person so he would realize how painful it is. that is if he is not so darn naive enough. bitter... bitter... bitter...

i am thinking that maybe i should just stop communicating with him and pretend that i dont have time for him. it would be more painful i think... hmmmm... what do you think?? i think i am becoming insane because of too much thinking about my lovelife. this isnt really a good idea to do here in helsinki! i cant wait to get back to manila and spend time with the person who really loves me. maybe that would help me forget things about this a**hole. I should have known better.

so, HH will be picking me up from the airport. great! we could talk afterwards and start to fix things up between us. i am excited and a bit scared. he said he has a pasalubong for me from bangkok. he said it's not a shoe but it is something round... is it a ring? OMG! naku i hope he doesnt make any mistake of proposing to me tomorrow or else he'll just break his heart. i dont have plans yet of getting engaged. as in no plans at all! i dont want a complicated life and i dont want things to get out of hand. waaaaaaaahhhhhhh! now that is making me scared of going home.

anyway, i better finish packing my things... oh yeah.. im not yet done packing. talk about being irresponsible. anyways, gtg. see you in manila! i cant wait to be home again. bye helsinki!

1)Do you have a first love ?
- yup

2)Are you still with your first love ?
- no

3)Do you believe in the phrase: First love never dies ?
- no. my first love is one of my good friends now.

4)Do you miss your first love ?
- not really.

5)Do you think your first love misses you ?
- i dont think so either.

Other QUESTIONS..`

1)How long does it take for you to move on after a break-up?
- it depends but i really have a hard time.

2)Did you change a lot after you and your first love broke up ?
- a lot! in terms of thinking maturely, accepting things, way i handle new relationships

3)Do you think love is blind ?
- i wouldnt say it is blind. i think love can see but does not mind anything it sees.

4)Do you believe in soul mates ?
- probably... that there is someone out there who is meant for me

5)Have you met your soul mate ?
- well i hope he is the one.

6)Ideal mate or soul mate:
- someone who understands me. someone who loves to see me happy.

7)Do you have any regrets from your past relationships ?
- not really regretting. i think it's more of the decisions ive made for myself that makes me regret now.

8)What if you and your gf/bf broke up because he/she had a third party, would you go back with him/her?
- cheating on me? i dont know. maybe. some people change for the better.

9)What if you and your gf/bf broke up because YOU were the one who had a third party, but then you realize that you still love your ex, would you go back together ?
- i doubt if he would accept me back.

10)What if you're already in a relationship but then you realized that you met someone that you think is more special than your present bf/gf, what will you do ?
- seize the day. try my luck on the new man.

11)Would you choose someone you love but that person doesn't love you back, or would you choose someone who loves you but you don't love them back?
- i am actually caught in this situation now. i chose the one i love. it may not guarantee bliss but i will give you a feedback if things work out for the two of us.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE?
- somewhere in cebu to escape manila problems

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
- shoes

3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
- writable cd

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
- it depends... weekdays, 6:30am. weekends later time.

5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
- fridge

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
- saxophone perhaps

7. FAVORITE COLOR?
- black, white

8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
- SUV

9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
- yes

10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
- a fairytale book

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
- spring! not so cold and not so hot

12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE
- make the man i love fall in love with me more

14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
- nope

15. NAME ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO:
- lolo

16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
- friday... sunday

17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
- i dont have a car

18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
- sushi!!!! unagi sushi.. salmon sushi..

19. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL SEND THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
- nobody

20.WHOS THE LEAST LIKELY?
- wala

21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
- got it from friendster.

22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHOCOLATE?
- im not so chocolate lover. but i could settle for a cafe mocha or a mocha frappe

23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
- mostly filipino and japanese food... crispy pata, shrimp, sushi

24. DO YOU PREFER DOGS OR CATS?
- dogs

25. What is your favorite band?
- freestyle and southborder