honestly i dont feel the christmas season these days... except for the dreadful traffic caused by christmas shopping here in makati. what im trying to say is that the spirit of christmas (the spark, the excitement, the dreamy atmosphere) is nowhere to be found. ok, i already got my 13th month pay, and im getting weekly gifts from my company's kris kringle but still, i dont feel it's going to be christmas next week! probably this is because of all the crisis that me and my family has gone through this year... most especially my crisis!
ive had one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride this year. I have so many things to settle with my past and a lot more things to settle in my present life. i am still grateful that god gave me this year to experience so many firsts... first time to travel abroad, first time to be away from my family for the longest time, first time to get hospitalized and operated, first time to attend a close friend's wedding, first time to splurge in shopping, first time to get lost in a new place, etc, etc, etc... I have a very long list of things that happened to me for the first time in my life this year. God has been kind to me inspite of those problems i have encountered with my lovelife... or probably it's just me who gives myself problems.
it's a saturday and im in the office. need to finish a deadline for monday. hmmm... work isnt doing so good either. ive been suffering from more stress because of this project. wish im back to iip(my old project). =(
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
The Man for me
Note: Some of these are excerpts from a site i was reading. This absolutely describes the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with...
I can't search for Mr. Perfect. It's an impossibility in a world of imperfection populated by imperfect individuals.
I want a man made strong by circumstance and trial. With faith, not just religion. With ability, not just bookish knowledge. With silent confidence, not loudmouth arrogance. With street smarts and not just a degree. A sense of humor that laughs even in the darkest of days and occasionally in the face of danger.
A seasoned man with a truly good heart. Someone who knows the difference between spoken and unspoken words in women. Someone who will put my best interest over and above his own and will have the humility to allow me to take the driver seat in moments when he knows he is not in control.
A man, made "perfect" over time by an imperfect life.
Who can handle adversity with much knowhow, passion, and patience as much as he can handle a pile of dishes.
=)
I can't search for Mr. Perfect. It's an impossibility in a world of imperfection populated by imperfect individuals.
I want a man made strong by circumstance and trial. With faith, not just religion. With ability, not just bookish knowledge. With silent confidence, not loudmouth arrogance. With street smarts and not just a degree. A sense of humor that laughs even in the darkest of days and occasionally in the face of danger.
A seasoned man with a truly good heart. Someone who knows the difference between spoken and unspoken words in women. Someone who will put my best interest over and above his own and will have the humility to allow me to take the driver seat in moments when he knows he is not in control.
A man, made "perfect" over time by an imperfect life.
Who can handle adversity with much knowhow, passion, and patience as much as he can handle a pile of dishes.
=)
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
The Devil
Whenever you break up with someone, it's normal to begin questioning behavior; you may wonder, for example, whether there were things that you could have done to avoid the split -- or if there were ways in which you might have hastened its arrival. If your current relationship is on the rocks, here are 10 things that might be at the root of your problems:
10. LOOKS THAT KILL
Solid, long-lasting relationships are about far more than physical appeal. But men and women like eye candy, and if you are not attracted to your partner, chances are you will face an uphill battle. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if that beholder's eye is wandering, his feelings might not be far behind.
9. SOMEONE ELSE!!!
Whether you want to admit it or not, the root of a relationship problem could very well have nothing to do with you. IF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS FANCYING SOMEONE ELSE..., then nothing you do can salvage the relationship UNTIL THE THIRD WHEEL IS DETACHED (unless she is interested in this someone else solely as a result of your lack of attention).
8. LACK OF QUALITY TIME
What you get out of relationships is a function of what you put into them, and if you refuse to spend time with one another, then chances are you are living on borrowed time. (And by "quality" I mean actually interacting with one another, not
simply nodding and staring blankly.)
7. DISTANCE
Long-distance relationships can work, and very well at that -- after all, absence can make the heart grow fonder. But there's also the "out of sight, out of mind" scenario, so be careful not to take things for granted. Call often, exchange email
and trade pictures; go the extra mile and send her a homemade video to rekindle that old magic despite the miles. (Okay, maybe not THAT kind of video ...)
6. GOODBYE TO ROMANCE
Women love romance, as do men. Even if the respective definitions differ according to each gender, the genuine desire to feel loved and love someone in return is universal. Say goodbye to romance and you'll undoubtedly suffer the consequences.
5. "I WANT YOUR SEX"
Sex is a culmination of feelings, lust, love, and affection. It may take time to build up the right moment and sensations, but unless there is an improvement in communication, mutual satisfaction and a primal desire to please one another, your relationship will be shaky at best. Rock one another's world -- it can serve to
patch things up and create a spark.
4. JEALOUSY
Jealousy stems from a lack of trust, a sense of possessiveness and paranoia. It can kill a relationship in a heartbeat. The problem with jealousy is that it represents an uphill battle on a slippery slope; no matter how much you try to gain traction, you end up slipping faster and further down.
3. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
I cannot stress this enough: relationships must be an exchange, a balance between two people and two perspectives. Next time you would like to say something but choose not to, remember that you are suffocating your love and stunting its growth.
2. ONCE A CHEEATEER, ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!!INFIDELITY SUCKS AS THAT MOMENT OF LUST AND PASSION
will inevitably lead to remorse, pain, guilt, and tears for the other person. It also engenders a lack of trust and eternal resentment within the relationship. Best-case scenario: the person takes you back but throws it in your face when you most expect it. Worst-case scenario: they don't get mad -- they get even.
1. NOISE
this is not just excess sound; it is anything that comes between the two of you. It could be family, friends, exes... any uncontrollable variable that tries to hinder your relationship. Eliminate the noise before you get elimidated.
Relationships need to be nurtured for it to grow....
10. LOOKS THAT KILL
Solid, long-lasting relationships are about far more than physical appeal. But men and women like eye candy, and if you are not attracted to your partner, chances are you will face an uphill battle. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if that beholder's eye is wandering, his feelings might not be far behind.
9. SOMEONE ELSE!!!
Whether you want to admit it or not, the root of a relationship problem could very well have nothing to do with you. IF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS FANCYING SOMEONE ELSE..., then nothing you do can salvage the relationship UNTIL THE THIRD WHEEL IS DETACHED (unless she is interested in this someone else solely as a result of your lack of attention).
8. LACK OF QUALITY TIME
What you get out of relationships is a function of what you put into them, and if you refuse to spend time with one another, then chances are you are living on borrowed time. (And by "quality" I mean actually interacting with one another, not
simply nodding and staring blankly.)
7. DISTANCE
Long-distance relationships can work, and very well at that -- after all, absence can make the heart grow fonder. But there's also the "out of sight, out of mind" scenario, so be careful not to take things for granted. Call often, exchange email
and trade pictures; go the extra mile and send her a homemade video to rekindle that old magic despite the miles. (Okay, maybe not THAT kind of video ...)
6. GOODBYE TO ROMANCE
Women love romance, as do men. Even if the respective definitions differ according to each gender, the genuine desire to feel loved and love someone in return is universal. Say goodbye to romance and you'll undoubtedly suffer the consequences.
5. "I WANT YOUR SEX"
Sex is a culmination of feelings, lust, love, and affection. It may take time to build up the right moment and sensations, but unless there is an improvement in communication, mutual satisfaction and a primal desire to please one another, your relationship will be shaky at best. Rock one another's world -- it can serve to
patch things up and create a spark.
4. JEALOUSY
Jealousy stems from a lack of trust, a sense of possessiveness and paranoia. It can kill a relationship in a heartbeat. The problem with jealousy is that it represents an uphill battle on a slippery slope; no matter how much you try to gain traction, you end up slipping faster and further down.
3. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
I cannot stress this enough: relationships must be an exchange, a balance between two people and two perspectives. Next time you would like to say something but choose not to, remember that you are suffocating your love and stunting its growth.
2. ONCE A CHEEATEER, ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!!INFIDELITY SUCKS AS THAT MOMENT OF LUST AND PASSION
will inevitably lead to remorse, pain, guilt, and tears for the other person. It also engenders a lack of trust and eternal resentment within the relationship. Best-case scenario: the person takes you back but throws it in your face when you most expect it. Worst-case scenario: they don't get mad -- they get even.
1. NOISE
this is not just excess sound; it is anything that comes between the two of you. It could be family, friends, exes... any uncontrollable variable that tries to hinder your relationship. Eliminate the noise before you get elimidated.
Relationships need to be nurtured for it to grow....
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Damage Control
i bought a new phone last sunday. yey! finally bought myself a birthday gift! hehe.
i was struck by the architect's last email to me. he asked me if i was seeing HH. For a moment i did not know how to reply to his question. I remembered i never told him that HH and I got back together when i got home from abroad. I never told him that i cheated on him. I did not want to hurt him even if he did hurt me a lot of times. Im assuming that he'll be hurt when i tell him this. I thought i am not required to give the architect an explanation about everything that's happened to me and to HH because it's not me and him (the architect) anymore anyway. I have no plans of telling him that i cheated on him. I want my relationship with the architect to end without further heartaches and anger. And so I said in my reply something like im not seeing anybody because im not ready to date anyone yet.
Ok i lied. What he doesnt know wont hurt him and im quite sure that there's no future for me and the architect so there's no way that we're going back together in this lifetime. Im just avoiding further damage and more explanations to both parties.
i was struck by the architect's last email to me. he asked me if i was seeing HH. For a moment i did not know how to reply to his question. I remembered i never told him that HH and I got back together when i got home from abroad. I never told him that i cheated on him. I did not want to hurt him even if he did hurt me a lot of times. Im assuming that he'll be hurt when i tell him this. I thought i am not required to give the architect an explanation about everything that's happened to me and to HH because it's not me and him (the architect) anymore anyway. I have no plans of telling him that i cheated on him. I want my relationship with the architect to end without further heartaches and anger. And so I said in my reply something like im not seeing anybody because im not ready to date anyone yet.
Ok i lied. What he doesnt know wont hurt him and im quite sure that there's no future for me and the architect so there's no way that we're going back together in this lifetime. Im just avoiding further damage and more explanations to both parties.
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